Losing and Living

I'm back! Hopefully for good. I decided I needed to step away from the blog world for a while after I changed jobs. As you probably know I moved into a new section of the office a couple of weeks ago and was trying to get adjusted. The new office came with a window, a new team, and a whole host of new duties. I took the week to settle into my spot on the team. But I didn't have long to be settled.

I started with the new group on Friday. The next Thursday one of my team members, and a close, close friend passed away. He was 31. When he didn't arrive at work that morning we called. When he still didn't arrive I called his fiance who's a friend of mine. And just about that same time we found out about his death. I was completely undone. Jason was an amazing friend, an amazing person, and well...simply amazing. He and I started talking because he happened to be a scuba diver, and I dive as well. That led to other conversations about books and flying and ghost hunting. And those conversations started leading to lunches. We talked about everything. And Jason always had great stories to tell.

Jason was friends with almost everyone in our department and as I was soon to find out with quite a few people from all walks of life. His memorial was standing room only. I wept for most of the service. And I laughed at the stories that others had about him. Jason would have wanted me to laugh. After the funeral me, Jeff, and a coworker headed out for drinks in Jason's honor. Then the next day I headed back to the office. An office that would never really be the same.

I've shut down for the last three weeks. I haven't read any blogs. I haven't read my comics. I haven't even spent much time online. I've focused all my attention on work, reading, and knitting. Over the last two weeks I've covered my work and Jason's work and I've still paused every time I walked past his cubicle. My new team has been fantastic and I'm really happy at work. But I still miss my friend.

So these past couple weeks I've read and knitted since I didn't seem to have a brain for anything else. And today I'm finally starting to feel like it's time to go back to living. Jason would have wanted me too. He lived fully. He did more in his short life than I will probably do in 50 years. He packed his life full of experiences. It's time I started heading back towards living. Time to reconnect. And I'll start to think about moving on but I'll never forget. This post is for you, Jason. I'll miss you, buddy.

Spoils of DragonCon

I didn't go to DragonCon although I would have loved to. Instead my dad and my brother made the trek to Atlanta to partake in the wonderful geeky goodness. For four days they were surrounded by stormtroopers and klingons and steampunk outfits and enough costumes (and exposed flesh) to fill Hollywood for a good decade or so. I wish I could have gone but I'm happy enough to see their pictures and hear their stories.

But my dad went farther than that. I had mentioned two artists whose work I love, both of which were going to be at DragonCon. I've loved Brian Despain's work for a long time. If you've forgotten I wrote about him here. I mentioned to my Dad that Brian would be there and to keep an eye out for his work. The other artist was Bobby Chiu. I've been meaning to write about Bobby for a while now and hadn't had the chance. Dad wrote down their names and I figured that was the last of it.

My father came home on Monday and we had dinner that night. Dad was telling us all about the trip and he mentioned that he'd picked up Bobby Chiu's book Chiutensity. Half of the book includes Chiu's artwork and sketches, the other half has Chiu's partner at Imaginism Studios, Kei Acedera's artwork. Acedera's work is just as incredible as Chiu's and I'm still debating which half of the book I like better. My dad got both of the artists to sign it. I also got a number of cards from Imaginism along with a DVD of Chiu's lecture on digital painting.

Then Dad got very sad. He informed me that Brian Despain sadly didn't have a book for him to buy. He had looked at the artwork but didn't see a book and Brian mentioned that he hadn't produced one yet. So instead he had simply bought me a print! More to the point he bought the print below. You could have bowled me over I was so excited. I don't often go all fangirl but a print was well beyond my wildest dreams. I love it. My padre picked so well. I still have to frame it but I'm all ready to hang it up in my studio. I didn't get to go to DragonCon but the spoils of the convention were well beyond my expectation. Two of my favorite artist's work under my roof. Thanks Dad!!!

Bird Photos

As I sat outside today I started taking pictures of the birds and playing with the zoom on my camera. I took two photos that I'm the most excited about. I love how close they are and how detailed.

A pair of Black Capped Chickadees

A weather-beaten looking Titmouse

Lazy Sunday

The weather can't get much prettier and I am soaking it up. After finishing a really tough but fantastic book this morning called The Underneath (I cried like I was reading Charlotte's Web, which is to say a lot), I've spent part of my day relaxing on the patio watching the birds at the feeder. Jeff bought me some new birdseed from Wild Birds Unlimited and the birds are flocking to it. It's amazing what good seed will do. So I'm sitting outside writing and eating a huge salad and watching the world go by. It's an amazing day. Tonight I'll probably continue my reading jag. I've been working on the collected Sherlock Holmes stories for a couple weeks now and I'm completely hooked.

I also did some baking today, some homemade gingerbread cupcakes which are tasty but not quite as gingerbready as I would like. Yes I know it's not a word, but it makes sense right? I've found I enjoy baking. I really want to get into cake decorating eventually but for right now, cupcakes are right up my alley.

Oh and I have to share. Last night Jeff and I were having dinner when I suggested some bad TV. About a year ago I had picked up the first nine episodes of the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon I watched as a kid. We had never watched the DVD though. So last night we sat down and relived a bit of my childhood. The animation was primitive by today's standards and the violence was pretty tame. Jeff was reading that at the time, the show was considered one of the more violent out there. But all we saw were bad guys getting pushed around or tripped, never killed. The dialogue was cliche and Eric the Cavalier drove me crazy, but the show was still fun. I still like the odd way that the baby unicorn Uni spoke (didn't we have such original names in the 80s?). For $5 I think we got our money's worth.

Tomorrow is Labor Day. I'm probably heading to my parent's house for at least part of the day. For all of you out there, don't labor too hard tomorrow. For me, I'll be on the front porch with a book in my hand and some birds at the feeder. I love long weekends.

I Think a Change Will Do Me Good

I'm sitting in my temporary office writing this on my lunch break. The department has been undergoing a physical reorganization (which is a fancy way of saying that they're moving everyone around). I'm moving from my huge cubicle on the first floor, up to the third floor for the next two weeks, and then down to the second floor in my permanent home. It's a lot of moving in a short period of time but it seems to be having a good effect on my psyche.

I've been working in the same cubicle on the same floor surrounded by the same people for the last four years. Everyone has been incredibly nice and the space was very large, but I had recently decided that I was ready for a change. I wanted something new. And this move is making me see my old office in a new way. I have a different breakroom, I have a different bathroom, I have different walls. Everything looks different and feels different. It's actually wonderful. I'm enjoying the newness of everything.

Next week I move to my permanent location, a sunny cubicle with a window and an Eastern exposure. I'll have new neighbors and a new boss. I'll even have some new duties. And I have to tell you, I couldn't be more excited. It's amazing how much a change of scenery helps. I'm happy, I'm productive, and I'm comfortable. It's a good day.