Sweating and Sweets

I'm a hurting person today. My poor recovering ankle is sore. My quads feel like they are on fire. Going up stairs is excruciating. You see, I jogged yesterday and it's been a while since I was out jogging. When I say a while, I really mean about 34 years. I've never been jogging. In fact I've never been in any shape. Well other than round.

So in an attempt to get into shape I've decided to try a Couch to 5K program. Technically I had decided to do the program in January but didn't start running until yesterday. I'm more of a planner than a doer, clearly. The program starts you slow with a mix of jogging and walking and thank god for that. I would have killed myself if I had tried to run the whole time. I was struggling just to finish the 20 minute workout and I really only jogged 8 of those minutes. Then again I've never jogged 8 minutes before so I'm pretty happy with that.

The big thing is that I have to get out there and jog again tomorrow. I know I'll be tempted to skip but part of me wants to develop a little discipline in my life. I've never really been the kind to push myself or keep to a schedule. I've always admired disciplined people. The kind of people who push themselves each day to be a little better. The kind of people who stick with a routine even when it's not going well. So this is my new routine. I'm announcing it to the world. I'll be ready to run a 5K by June. I'll be able to jog for 20 minutes straight. I know that each day will be easier. I hope that I gasp just a little less each day. And my muscle will hurt a little less each week. I'm excited about this.

That said, I bought Girl Scout cookies today. Apparently my discipline only extends so far. I've only had two Tagalongs (I refuse to call them Peanut Butter Patties), but the boxes are calling to me from the kitchen. We'll see how long they last. So far I'm just impressed that I haven't inhaled the box while watching TV. Perhaps there is hope for me.

Into a Winter Wonderland

I'm not a winter fan. In fact I don't think it would be too much of a stretch to say that I hate winter. Hate it! I hate the snow and the ice and the cold. But since I live in the Midwest I have about five months of winter to deal with (November-March). It snows at least a little through these months. In the past I've been content to hide indoors and only go out when the snow has stopped flying. This year I'm trying something different.

My brother and his family were in town this weekend and we spent a ton of time hanging out with them. It was wonderful. But I was complaining to my very athletic brother that I wanted to start running but I didn't want to go running in the winter. We don't have a treadmill and the sidewalks are way too slick for fearless running. The conversation went a bit like this:

Me: I do want to start running but I'll probably wait until the spring.

John: Why?

Me: Well, I don't have a treadmill and I'm not going to run outside.

John: Why?

Me: The sidewalks scare me. I'm not comfortable on that kind of ice.

John: Where do you live?

Me: Huh, West Des Moines

John: And there are no fields out there?

Me: Run in a field?

John: Yep, go running in the snow. If you fall, who cares. It's soft. Find a nice snowy field and run. It doesn't matter where you run. As long as you have fun and get some benefit from it.

He's so smart! So I decided to try it. And I am happy to say that it works. I couldn't run for very long but I was able to run. I was in boots and jean and my Yaktraks but I was able to run. I'm excited to make it a regular exercise program. It was actually pretty exhilarating to be out in the cold air running, like when I was a kid. And I didn't worry about falling.

My other thing is that I've started pricing snowshoes. I want to trek out into the woods and I like the idea of using snowshoes. So far most of them have been in the $50 to $100 range but I'm going to keep looking a bit. I need to learn more about the difference. I'm excited that I'm starting to get out into the winter weather. Perhaps these months won't be quite so wasted after all.

Going It Alone

Or What a long strange trip it's been.

When I broke my ankle back in January I knew that this day would come but I didn't realize how odd it would feel. Tomorrow is my last scheduled day for physical therapy. On Sunday I get to remove the brace and start walking like a normal human being. In some ways this is the end of my treatment. Two attempts to set the bones, a surgery with screws and plates, two weeks of no weight bearing, one and a half months of limited weight bearing, and two months of physical therapy with full walking have all come down to this.

After tomorrow there will be no one to push me through my physical therapy. There will be no one there to guide me through the recovery process. After tomorrow I'm on my own. I'm both scared and thrilled at this. No matter how much I love my physical therapist, I won't miss taking off work last minute to attend appointments. As much as I appreciate the doctor who did the surgery, I'm glad he feels confident enough that he doesn't need to see me again. And no matter how much I've needed the directed recovery in the past, I'm ready to step out (pun intended) on my own.

I can walk now, mostly gimp-free. I can climb steps, although I still need the handrail. I can stand for long periods of time without pain. The only things I can't do right now is hop, run, and crouch. And I'll start working on those. I've learned the value of physical therapy. Of working daily to make myself stronger. I finally understand the old adage: if you don't use it, you lose it. That is very true for muscles. As I rebuild my calf muscles, my achilles tendon, and my knees I'm reminded that you are either getting stronger or atrophying. For the last couple years I've been letting myself go. I'm been letting the muscles grow soft while I sit on the couch. I've been ignoring my body. But this injury is just what I needed to give me an added push.

When I was sitting on the couch right after the break, I dreamed about walking. When I was slowly starting to walk with the crutches, I dreamed about getting rid of them. When I finally put down the crutches, I dreamed about walking without a limp. Now that I'm walking without a limp, I dream about running. I dream about running for distance. I want to strengthen enough to run a marathon. It's been a dream of mine for the last ten years.

So my next step will be to start walking for distance. As my muscles and my endurance build up I can start learning how to hop. And once I learn to hop I can start teaching myself to run. I know that I always have back-up from my physical therapist if I need it. I can always go back. But for right now I have a goal, I have ambition, and I have the energy to go it alone.

Eddie Izzard

I hardly ever watched stand-up comedians before I met Jeff. I would occasionally watch someone like Jeff Dunham or catch a bit of George Carlin's act but I never consciously sat down to watch a comedian. Jeff on the other hand can spend an entire evening doing nothing else but watching stand-up, comic after comic. After a couple years of marriage I have swung around to Jeff's point of view. Not only do I enjoy watching comedians but I'll actually seek out the routines of my favorite ones.
Such is the case right now with Eddie Izzard. Jeff rented Eddie's Glorious routine a couple years ago and we were hooked. Since then we've been slowly renting more of his material, and I've even found myself heading online to find more routines. Eddie's comedy is stream of consciousness. He basically stands up on stage and says whatever comes to mind with hilarious results. He mumbles, he rants, he speaks in French, and he's absolutely brilliant. What I love about Eddie's stand-up is that it's intelligent humor. He never plays down to a crowd and you really have to be listening to catch all the jokes. He tends to be a very rapid fire talker so you have to keep following along. He discusses religion, history, his life, and occasionally does whole sections in French or German. And even those I find hilarious (without speaking a word of French myself). He's a master of the non sequitor and you'll often find discussion on jam, dogs, and God in the same sentence. He will jump from history of World War 2 to supermarket lines in the same breath. For others it might sound odd, but Eddie pulls it off with laughs.

I've seen Eddie in a number of films over the years and always enjoy his roles. He even made sitting through the horrendous My Super Ex-Girlfriend enjoyable. A while ago I reviewed both The Wild and Madagascar. I hated Madagascar, but The Wild had one memorable saving grace, Eddie as a smart alek koala. I was also inspired by his recent charity work. In July of last year Eddie started running and running and running. He ran 43 marathons in 51 days. All of this with only a couple weeks of training. All done for charity. I keep telling myself that I couldn't run one and he goes out and runs over 40 in less than two months. That shut me up quick. Then I flipped on more of his comedy and started laughing again.

Sadly Eddie's reputation often seems to overshadow his comedy. As one of the only transvestite comedians working out there, it is often his clothing people are talking about. Eddie never really uses his different dressing style in his act and as he puts it, just wears what he likes. But for many it is distracting. Perhaps that's why his recent material has him ditching the heels and eyeliner more often than not. Which is kind of sad for me. I don't find it distracting and actually think he looks rather good en femme. He can certainly walk better in heels than I can. That kind of individualism is pretty darn attractive. But the really attractive part of him is that intelligence. I'm drawn to his comedy because it makes me think. It challenges me. And it makes me laugh.

This picture, which appeared on ROFL Razzi, is what inspired this post today. Not his typical stuff but still very funny.