Earning My Calories

Over the weekend, Jeff and I broke down and bought a tablet. We had been discussing an iPad for over a year and finally the time seemed right (well maybe not right, but not wrong either). Right would have involved us not spending a couple grand on a new air conditioner. But the point is that we bought one. And so far I've been enjoying it for one aspect more than any other. The moment we brought the iPad home, I installed My FitnessPal on it.

About seven years ago, I managed to lose 60 pounds by tracking what I ate and walking more. I had used a printed food journal at the time and loved it. Now, in the age of digital, I'm using an electronic food tracker and am hopefully that I can repeat my results from the past. I have about 60 pounds to lose.

So far the program has helped me make some smarter decisions. Of course I've only been using it for  a couple days now. But I'm optimistic. I went for a long walk yesterday so I could eat a good dinner and still be under calories. Today I spent 5 hours shifting books at the library. The program tells me that I burned a ton of calories enough for a great dinner and plenty left over. It even allowed me a glass of wine. So if I use the iPad for nothing else, at least it might help me lose a bit of weight. And that would be worth it.

Notebook Heaven

I can sometimes think of myself as a technologically savvy person. Many of my coworkers ask me for technical help and I figure I know enough to be somewhat dangerous. But in comparison to most of the people I know, I'm pretty low on the tech scale. I can't build my own computer, I can't write code, and I'm still trying to master simple things like html. So for others I'm considered tech wise, and for others I'm still very much learning. So it's strange to say that when it comes to writing, I'm something of a luddite. I've been writing in paper journals for decades now and am not planning to give up the practice anytime soon. My mother was trying to talk me into buying a iPad for my journaling (strange since she doesn't ever use the computer or really know how to turn it on). But I'm stubborn on this point. If I'm not handwriting my journal I'm typing it on an old manual typewriter. It's just how I roll. :-)

This morning I picked up my purse to head out the door and realized that I probably have at least 10 pounds of stuff in it. No wonder my neck hurts lately. And I did an inventory before I left the house. I carry a notebook for journaling. It's nothing fancy, in fact I bought it at Target. It has owls on it and I feel okay writing any crap I can think of into it. I don't feel like my writing has to be good to live up to a beautiful journal. Next to that journal I have my food journal. This is where I write down what I eat and how many calories it has. Next to that is my day planner. I have the Sierra club, weekly calendar that I've been using to track my personal appointments. And when I've been good at keeping my calories down I add a sticker for the day. So for those of you keeping track at home, that's three notebooks. But I'm sadly not done yet.

I also have started carrying a sketchbook. I'd been doodling in my journaling notebook but the lines and the thinness of the paper annoys me. So I happened to be at Walgreens and grabbed an inexpensive sketchbook. I have my pencil and click eraser tucked into the spiral binding so everything is ready when I want it. And lastly I have a tiny little notebook, not much larger than the palm of my hand, that I use to write down things I want to remember. Quotes I've heard, book and movie recommendations, artists I like, pretty much anything that comes to mind that isn't long enough for a journal article. This one is a tiny little spiral bound notebook with a penguin on it (did I mention I'm a small child at heart?). And of course the rest of my purse is dedicated to those things that I actually need to carry around with me: keys, phone, wallet.

So if I've been wondering why my purse is so heavy lately, that is the reason. I have five different notebooks that I carry with me. I should consolidate them down. I should journal in my sketchbook or write my notes in the planner. I should use the food journal as my day planner. Than I would only have two journals. But the sad part is that I like having all these things. I like having different journals for different things. I know that an iPhone or Blackberry would take care of most of these for me. But I can't come around to that mentality. Writing-wise I'm a luddite. Plus if I moved to an electronic gadget, what would I do with all those fun and pretty journals I keep buying? And I can't stop buying those, can I? :-)

Battle of the Bulge

Every couple of years it seems, I decide to do something about my weight. I've been heavy for a good chunk of my life and weight has always been a struggle for me. What can I say, I like food. Actually that's not right, I love food. And I tend to overeat if given the chance. For most of high school and college I didn't worry about it. My weight was still at an acceptable level. But the freshman 15 quickly became the college 30 and by the time I was married I was well over 60 over what is considered normal. I had bypassed overweight and headed for obese.

About six years ago I started on one of the easiest and most effective weight loss programs I've ever done. I managed to lose 60 pounds without really even breaking much of a sweat. It was incredible. No I didn't do any of those questionable pill programs or lose weight while you sleep gimmicks. I did something far simpler. I counted calories. I bought a 90 day food journal from Half Price Books on a whim and managed to lose 20 pounds in those first 90 days. I bought three more journals and lost a total of 60 pounds over the course of a year. I felt amazing. I was working out more but the big thing is that I was paying attention to the calories I was eating. When I reached something of a goal weight I figured that I didn't need the food journals anymore. I focused on exercise, often doing two workouts a day, and stopped writing things down.

Since then I have managed to gain back 50 of those pounds. Apparently just working out wasn't enough when I was eating way more calories than I needed. Then after a while I lost my motivation on working out. I sank back into my old habits and started racking up the pounds. Over the last couple years I've tried to restart different diet programs. I've focused on volumetrics, I've tried to eat mostly fruits and vegetables and so far I haven't been able to stick with the programs enough to lose any significant weight.

If this break has taught me nothing, it is that I am not as strong as I would like to be. I remember the struggle of trying to build arm muscles to lift myself. That could have been helped if I was weight training and didn't weigh as much. Now that I'm back to walking, my poor knees are not happy and keep reminding me that I'm carrying a bit too much weight for their tastes. So this week I've decided that the yo-yo has hit bottom again. I'm starting back on my weight loss program. I've bought another food journal and will start it today. It will be worth the cost of buying four of them a year if I'm able to lose weight and keep it off.

I'm writing this for you to read as a motivation to myself to stay with it. I always do a bit better at sticking with something when there is outside pressure on me. This probably wasn't the best week to start since I'll be out of town this weekend. But even if I go over my calorie limit (1800 calories a day) as long as I write everything down I'll consider it a win. And I have to simply accept the fact that I'll continue to write things down for the rest of my life. Weight has always been a struggle for me. But a food journal evens the odds considerably in my favor. Here's hoping.