Happy New Year!

I'm sitting in the middle of a messy house, eating chocolates left over from Christmas, and wondering what I'm going to resolve for 2013. I like New Years. I'm a fan of beginnings. They seem so filled with promise. And I love resolutions. Not accomplishing them really. Just thinking them up. I'm good at thinking them up. This year, I'm resolving to be more mindful. More awake. Oh and to blog more.

I've been on vacation for the last 10 days and much of it was spent with family. My older brother and his family came in town from Christmas day until that Friday. I spent Christmas Eve with my parents and then every day from Christmas up until Friday with my brother and his family. I was home on Friday, outside of meeting some friends for drinks. On Saturday, my little brother and his fiancee came into town. I spent Saturday night and all day Sunday with them. I had planned to spend part of the day yesterday with them but I woke up feeling odd. I wanted to hermit up. So I read all day yesterday. I read until past midnight, the kind of New Years that only I can get behind. I loved staying in while everyone else was out celebrating. It was wonderful.

Today I'm relaxing with a cup of tea. I spent part of the morning outside scraping ice from the driveway. I keep talking about buying a rowing machine to lose weight when all I really need is a shovel, an ice scraper, and some persistent ice. I worked for about 30 minutes with no luck. But I worked up quite the sweat. Now I'm catching up on my email, blogs, and planning out my 2013. I have plans I tell you. Big plans. Here's to a wonderful New Year! I hope you have a wonderful coming year filled with big plans and exciting things.

New Years

I like transitions. For some reason new years and birthdays fill me with the same type of hope and wonder. I believe that all things are remade. For a couple days I believe in omens. Two years ago I posted about how the moon would be strange that new year. I joked about omens. Now I'm more of a believer. Two days later I broke my ankle, an injury that will continue to impact me for the rest of my life. Tomorrow I'll look for omens that will signal how the new year will go. Today was a beautiful way to end a year.

I had amazing day with the love of my life. Jeff and I relived the old days by waking up and suddenly deciding to go out of town. We used to take spur of the moment trips all the time. The plan was that we would hit the Neal Smith Wildlife Refuge to do some birding and hiking (for me). Then take the back roads to Tanger Outlet Mall and to Iowa City for dinner (for him). Before we could get out towards Neal Smith, Jeff said that we had to take a detour. He wouldn't tell me where. I had to wait to find out. I didn't have long.

Every bird you see here is an eagle (some juvenile, some mature)

There is a lake between Des Moines and Ankeny where we had seen a ton of American Coots a couple summers ago. We headed out there, not for the coots this time, but for eagles. There were hundreds of bald eagles spread throughout the trees around the lake. We had the camera and tripod and were able to take some pictures. I hadn't seen this many bald eagles since our trip out to Rock Island. And the weather was perfect for viewing. If I was looking for an omen of a good year ahead, this was it. That many eagles in one place, and right along the road, was incredible.

After some time (and way too many pictures) we hopped into the car to go out to Neal Smith. We're blessed to have this fantastic refuge so close. Neal Smith has been working for years to bring back the prairie to Iowa, something that had been nearly eradicated by development. Jeff and I hiked the long trail at the refuge because it takes us right down next to the enclosure where the buffalo roam. We were rewarded with a huge herd. And some good position for pictures. With the tripod I could take some nice close-ups.

After Neal Smith, there were back roads drives, tons of shopping (I picked up some books and a really nice new robe). Then we headed to Steak N Shake for dinner. Neither Jeff nor I had eaten today so this hit the spot. Steak N Shake is a guilty pleasure. We don't have one in Des Moines so it seems more like a treat. Then we headed home talking the whole way. It was a fantastic day. And a nice way to end 2011. I had a ugly piece of mail (a rejection letter) but I'm trying not to let that damper the day. Now to see what 2012 has to offer. Hopefully plenty of days like this. Happy New Year all.

Healing

A year ago today I was laying on the downstairs couch with my leg wrapped in a plaster cast, sucking down percocets like they were going out of style. I was broken and in pain. I was also completely helpless. I couldn't bring myself water, I couldn't make myself food. Standing for any length of time was horribly tiring. And more than anything I was depressed.

So this New Years I'm celebrating my wholeness. I can walk and stand and run and even crouch. I'm pain free and healthy. The amount of healing I've done over the course of the year is amazing to me. I'm still in awe that the human body can heal bones. I've been blessed with a family who pushed me to get better. I was lucky to have a great physical therapist. And I'm even more blessed to have a husband who taught me the meaning of courage.

My goal for the new year is to become more fearless. To be more willing to take a chance, in all aspects of my life. I've been broken and I healed. I've been in pain and I lived through it. I couldn't walk and now I can. I was always afraid of breaking bones and while the experience was awful, I've lived through it. And that, has given me courage. I'm ready to go out and live a bit more. I'll still be careful on the ice but I think I'm ready to venture out a bit more.

I hope your new year is adventurous. I hope you do things you've never done before. I hope you use this year to the best of your ability and that when you look back, you are proud. I hope 2011 is the best year of your life.

Moon

As an added note, Happy New Year all. Not only is it the end of a year but the end of a decade. Always something to be marked. And to add to that excitement, there is an odd moon tonight. Tonight is a Blue Moon (a second full moon within a month), something that only happens every couple of years. I would be curious to find out the last time that a Blue Moon fell on New Years Eve. I would bet many many moons ago. It is also a partial lunar eclipse tonight, although we in the U.S. won't be able to see it. So some unusual astronomical occurances for the New Year. If only I believed in omens...

Speed

When I was younger my mother would tell me that her years passed by faster the older she got. I was young and the days seemed to stretch on for eternity. So of course, I didn't believe her. I almost hoped for the years to go faster. I wanted to reach 13...16...18....21. I was ready to grow up and, at that time, time moved too slowly for me.


I started noticing it at 25. A subtle shift in time. A speeding up. And this last couple years I've really been feeling the speed. I know that my years have not actually sped up but with relativity they certainly feel quicker. This year has passed in a blur. With all the changes around the house I can hardly recognize who I was in January but it also feels like I blinked and missed most of the year. Each day (particularly the work days) seemed to drag but the weeks flew and the year passed me by way too quickly. It feels like only a couple weeks ago that it was summer. Now it's the end of the year.



So like each New Years before it I'll make my resolutions (should I be scared that they are almost always the same ones?) and watch the next year fly by. I'm hoping to actually get to some of those resolutions, particularly the weight and writing ones. I've made a deal with myself to lose 33 pounds this year (my 33rd one). I've also made a deal with myself to write everyday if only for 15 minutes. Now if I could only make a deal with myself to slow down time.

Clock image from Salvador Dali's The Persistence of Memory.

Resolving to be less Resolute

Every year at this time I sit down and write out my resolutions. And sadly they are always the same resolutions: lose weight, get more organized, write more...etc. Since I use the same ones every year you can safely assume that I only follow them for about three weeks until I slip up, decided that it isn't going to work, and return to my normal habits. Every year is the same.

This year though I have decided not to be so general. Lose weight is an incredibly general idea. It normally means dieting for me, which I hate. So this year I actually have a plan of attack. I won't say that I want to lose weight. Instead I'll say that I plan to write down what I eat each day. Starting today. Five years ago I decided that I was going to lose weight and I bought a food journal. I wrote down everything I ate, walked more, and managed to lose 60 pounds. I maintained the exercise but stopped writing things down about three years ago. And slowly gained back 50 of those pounds. So I know that a food journal works. I'll just go back to that. Not with the idea that I will lose weight but with the idea that I will make food journaling a habit. If I lose weight, great. If not I have developed a habit that will improve my overall heath.

I keep a paper journal just because I find it more convenient, but for anyone who would prefer an electronic version I recommend SparkPeople. This site is free and allows you to track both food and exercise. Plus you just have to let them know what you eat and they keep track of the calories for you.

As for getting organized, I am also creating a plan. Rather then the vague statement "I'll get organized" my plan is to focus on each room of the house. My first will be my library. That is the one that needs the most work. I'll be starting tonight with three boxes: one to keep, one to give away, and one to toss. And if I keep doing that each day, I should be leaner in two weeks or so. Then I just have to focus on making organization a habit. Putting things in their place rather than just leave them on the counter to do later. We'll see how it goes. But I'm focused on daily improvement, not just some general ideas of what to improve.