Glossophobia

No it's not the fear of shiny things. And it's not the feel of slick floors. It's a much more common fear and one that has kept me from posting for the last couple of days. Glossophobia is the fear of public speaking, something that I and most of the rest of the world shares. Fear of public speaking (or stage fright) is the most common fear in the world. It's more common than fear of spiders or the dark or clowns (and we all know how creepy those clowns can be).

So when a gentleman from a different agency called me last week and asked me whether I would be willing to speak at his group's annual meeting, I said...um...oh....you know how much of a terrible speaker I am...well...Okay...sure....I'd love to. I'm so eloquent huh? So all last week I fretted about this speech but didn't bother to sit down and actually write it. Over the weekend I fretted more, and slept a lot less, and still didn't write the damn thing. It was only when Sunday night came that I started writing. On Monday (my day off) I worked up a proper speech, created a powerpoint to go along with it, and practiced a couple of time. On Tuesday I was moody, stressed, cramped up, and still not sleeping. I went home that night and practiced a bunch more times. I still wasn't feeling ready but Wednesday morning rolled around anyway. And I went off to speak.

It's strange how when you're talking about something you know, you end up not needing any notes. I spoke for 35 minutes, never once stuttering too badly. I took questions, I made jokes, and overall I think it went really well. Of the three people presenting that day I felt that mine was the most on target. And afterwards I breathed a sigh of relief. I'd had fun. I'd gotten some compliments. And I'd managed to actually sound like I knew what I was talking about. This is the fourth speech I've given this year and so far it was the most relaxing. I might be getting better. Shedding a little of that phobia. At least until the next speaking opporturnity comes around. Then it will be...well...um...you know how much I hate speaking...well...Okay and a couple more sleepless nights.

Forgetting to breath and handmade pages

This is two blog posts in one because it has been a rough two day stretch for me. I've been forgetting to breath. Not literally but I've been so stressed recently that I have been at people's throats. I also haven't been sleeping which is odd. Normally I close my eyes and am out like a light. Although I used to think I was a deep sleeper until I met Jeff. He literally slept through our smoke alarm one night. 

I finally finished my application for the Minneapolis job but that had been weighing on my mind a lot. I know that it is not due until the beginning of October but I hate job applications enough that they severely stress me out. I have a project at work that is half a month overdue (bad Cat) and a presentation to write that I have to deliver at the end of the month. That is the one that is stressing me out the most. I hate public speaking. When they called asking me if I would do these hour-long sessions I was so flattered that I said yes. Then I actually thought about what they were asking. Now I'm terrified. My least favorite part is that my hands sweat and the moment I am done speaking I will have no idea what I just said. Bleh. 

So to make up for all this negative energy I decided to post some of my favorite pages. The British Library has a segment of their website called Turning the Pages. This beautiful area includes a number of books that have been scanned into the system and allow readers to turn the pages of their favorite books to see the wonderful illustrations or handwritten notes. These are the original works created by the author. My favorite has to be the Alice in Wonderland that is handwritten with little images of Alice and the characters. 

The main site is http://www.bl.uk/onlinegallery/ttp/ttpbooks.html. Be warned, to see the pages you will need to have Shockwave installed on your computer. But the images are worth it. Here is an example of a page, written in Lewis Carroll's handwriting with one of his drawings. I love this kind of thing. Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite books and it is wonderful to get to see it as Carroll wrote it. 

I have also added a screenshot of the Elizabeth Blackwell's Herbal. This beautiful book includes hand-drawn illustration of plants along with their medicinal uses. The book was published in 1737 and was written to pay off Blackwell's husbands debts and free him from debtors prison. It was unheard of for a woman at that time to write, particularly something of a serious natural text. These are just two examples of the books available for your perusal. I would easily recommend checking out the site. It includes images from Leonardo Di Vinci's notebooks, The Diamond Sutra (the oldest book in the world A.D. 868), the first full atlas (done in the 1500s), and many others. Shockwave is free so that shouldn't stop you.