Childfree Day

In the mid 1990s Leslie Lafeyette, the founder of the Childfree Network, put forward the idea of having a day to celebrate the childfree choice. Her idea is that the holiday would fall on the first Sunday of June, the mid point between Mother's Day and Father's Day. Although the Childfree Network itself is no longer around, the idea of a holiday has stayed. Well yesterday was World Childfree Day. It is another one of those odd little holidays that Jeff and I celebrate that most of the world doesn't.

And although I love the idea of a day to celebrate childfree people I do see one problem with the holiday, at least for Jeff and I. We celebrated the day the same way we do pretty much every day. Jeff stayed up way too late playing World of Warcraft the night before. I spent the morning hanging out in my local coffeehouse writing and drawing. We went out to lunch and then spent the afternoon reading or sitting outside enjoying the nice day. In the evening we scavenged together some dinner (each cooking our own meals) and then raided with the guild until very late. So in all honesty it was a pretty typical Sunday for us.

Jeff and I are blessed in that we have a lot of time to do whatever we want to do. I'm planning to start fencing lessons again soon. I have my writing which lately has been a priority. I'm also suddenly interested in baking and particularly cake decorating. And I have the time to try it. Jeff has the chance to quit work and go back to school because of our childfree status. He also gets plenty of play time in the process. It's a quiet life but one that I love. So while I can see the desire for a childfree holiday, I'm not necessarily sure I see the need. Everyday gets to be a holiday.

Current Sacrifices for Future Rewards

The phrase "current sacrifices for future rewards" has been used in my house for a long time now. It reminds me that I need to give up a little with the possibility of a better tomorrow. We used it the first time when Jeff went back to school for pre-med. We were living on one small paycheck and eating a lot of mac and cheese and ramen. 

When we were both working I went back to school for my masters. I did it in my free time and that was my big sacrifice. For two years I had no real free time except for a two week break between each semester. I graduated finally in December of 2007. And we started saving immediately for a trip. I had wanted to go on a cruise to celebrate finishing school. We cut back on discretionary spending and again invoked the phrase. The trip, as my long term readers remember, was amazing. And for a while we were both working. 

The phrase has been used again this week. Jeff has decided to go back to school for actuarial science. He'll be going full time and again we'll be a one paycheck family. But this time around I'm doing better so there is much less sacrifice that way. Instead the sacrifice is in movement. My sister, last night, pointed me to a fun job that might be interesting. It's a little out of my comfort level but would get me back into the library world. But the problem is I'm doing too good right now. In order to survive this upcoming period (our current sacrifices) I'm going to have to stay where I'm at. And today I'm okay with that. I'm excited for Jeff and excited about the changes his new job will bring to our lives. And I'm excited that we're taking another step towards future rewards.  

Old arguements

So I got attacked today. Don't worry I'm fine. I wasn't attacked physically just verbally. Although sometimes I'm not sure which hurts more.  This one wasn't anything I found too terrible and now looking back I can see it as funny. At the time it got my blood boiling. 

One of the older women at work and I started talking this afternoon about family. I had asked how her husband was doing since I know he has cancer. She was asking me about my husband and of course that got around to children. Now my office is not a very chatty place. I have people that I work side by side with who have no idea about each others home lives. People who have worked together 15 years ask questions like "how many children do you have again?" or "are you married". It is just a strange atmosphere. 

So this question was nothing surprising. What was surprising was her reaction to my statement that I didn't have any children. That tends to be my standard answer for strangers asking that question. Most don't push and I avoid a confrontation. This woman looked at me and told me that I wasn't getting any younger and that I should start thinking about starting a family. I told her I already had a family, me and Jeff and the cat. But she insisted that I should be starting to think about children. And so I told her that I wasn't having any. 

First she didn't believe me. Then when I assured her she proceeding to give me every possible reason to have them that she could think of. For any childfree people out there, I could have called bingo four times during the conversation. Most of them I fended off easily. I have heard them all before. And then she told me I was selfish (heard it) and finally she told me that I was an ungrateful child. (that one is new) She told me that I should be thinking of my parents and how much they wanted grandchildren. Needless to say after all this I was glad when someone needed the copier and I was able to escape. 

Work tomorrow should be interesting. It will certainly be more talkative. I am not offended by my coworker but I guess I'm a little shocked. No matter how many people tell me that I am making a mistake I am still shocked by those who resort eventually to calling names. For the record I have only really had strangers who have attacked my choice. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive. I am just shocked at the strangers who feel it is necessary to change my mind about such an important decision. And not one I went into lightly. Strange.