We'll be moving on, cabbie

The title is a line from The In-Laws. The original with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin. Peter Falk is a CIA agent whose son is about to marry Arkin's daughter. Arkin is a mild-mannered dentist, until Falk drags him into a South American mess. In one scene the two are being shot at when they discover a taxi-cab. They climb in and Peter Falk casually tells the driver, "we'll be moving on cabbie." It's a great line mostly because of the casualness in Falk's voice and Arkin's hysterics. I haven't seen it in years. I'll have to watch the movie again.

I was trying to think of how to start this post and the line came to me. This past month has been a bit tough for a bunch of reasons I won't go into. Nothing terrible just not the best. Every time I've sat down to write a post, I've thought about how silly it all seems. And then I've shut the case on my laptop and done something else. I just wasn't ready to talk.

Tonight I'm ready to get back to blogging. I have artists to share and adventures to tell. I'm relaxing finally and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I don't have to write anything I don't want to. I've been holding myself back waiting for the right mood, right topic, right situation. I'll be moving on, cabbie.

(Seriously, rent it. Hilarious. One of Falk's best and Alan Arkin is hysterical as straight man. Don't bother with the remake. )

Blame Jack Gantos

A month ago or so when I stopped writing the blog I mentioned that I was doing a lot more creative writing. Journal writing in particular. At the time I talked about my beautiful fountain pen that I've been overworking. I talked about enjoying the feel of paper. I'm sure I even mentioned how journaling keeps me sane. But I know I didn't talk about my greatest influence that got me back into creative writing (although stopped my blogging for a while), Jack Gantos.

I picked up Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key by Jack Gantos on a whim. The cover artwork was originally off-putting but I had heard good things. So I picked it up. One morning I sat down with a pot of coffee and the book and didn't stop reading until I was finished. I'd never heard a voice that fresh. Joey, the narrator, jumped off the page. He was quirky and confidential and I loved him. He's an amazing character, honest and messed-up. And the writing was so fresh. I devoured the book. Then I started learning more about the man who created it.

The interviews I read or listened to with Jack were all about journals. Jack has been journaling regularly since he was young. Almost all of his novels have come out of those journals in some way or another. I'm jealous. In a moment of madness 10 years ago I tossed all of my journals up to that point. I still regret that. Jack describes writing as "blue-collar work" and keeps a very dedicated writing schedule. And I found that inspiring. Not only have I been reading through all his books, but I've started journaling daily. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday I stop at the library on the way home from work for 40 minutes or so of writing. On Saturday and Sundays I sit down in the early morning hours with my coffee and  my notebook to write. I'm not sure what all will come out of it book-wise, but I know that I feel more productive, more creative, and certainly saner.

I'm about half finished with Jack's oeuvre and have not been disappointed by a single one. I laughed until I cried at sections of Jack's Black Book. I was horrified and worried through Hole in My Life, Jack's memoir of being in prison. He has a unique voice that I haven't read before. But it's his habits that got me thinking. I found him inspiring, in terms of his teaching and as an example. And because of that inspiration I have been doing more of my own work. And for that I thank him.

Heading towards Luddite

I used to have five blogs that I tried to write on a regular basis. Two of them were co-authored with a good friend. One had only two postings for months before I finally deleted it. The two that I've kept up with mostly are this one and my children's book blog. But it's been months since I posted on my children's one. Months. I still get hits on it but I haven't bothered to write a new review in almost half a year. I'm beginning to think that it is dead.

But I've tried hard to keep up with this one. I've started strong and then slowly slacked off (love the alliteration). I went from posting four or five times a week to only once or twice a week. Now I find I haven't posted in almost ten days. It's beginning to worry me.

It's not that I haven't been writing. I have. But I've been doing most of it in a different format. My journal is getting a good workout lately. I've inked many, many pages over the last 10 days. I'm moving back towards paper and pen. And not just any pen, a beautiful Sailor fountain pen that my dad gave to me years ago. It's been sitting in a drawer gathering dust and clogging up.

So this week I dug it out and cleaned it up. I filled it with fresh ink and now I can't stop using it. I sat at Caribou this afternoon with both a book and my journal. Normally the journal gets neglected while I read. Not today. I put down my book several times so I can pick up that glorious pen and write more. I love the sound that it makes as it scratches across the page. I love the flow of the ink and the way it looks in my hand. I love the way my words look more elegant from the pen. On the computer they suddenly seem duller. So this is just to say that I'm apparently stepping back into the early 1900s to focus on paper and pen again. I'll be back soon. I'm sure the luxury of this beautiful writing instrument will wear off eventually. But right now I'm not in any hurry for that.

Blocked

I've been dealing with some writers block recently and it has started affecting the blog. Normally I can still blog while I struggle to put things on paper in all the other areas of my life. These last couple weeks it's been different. I've even struggled to read. I pick up books and put them down minutes later. I don't remember the last time I had this much trouble doing the things I love.

I've also been thinking too much about all the things I've had to do. Work has been crazy and stressful and I feel like I need to be constantly productive in order to keep up. I was telling a friend just tonight about how when I feel overwhelmed I tend to become paralyzed. I think that's what's been happening. I think about the four billion things that I feel I should be doing, including blogging, and I can't seem to start anything. Once I do start something, I get through it and can move on. But I need those wake up calls to remind me of how to be productive.

This past weekend was one of those wake-up calls. We had a good friend come into town who I've known for almost 15 years now. We packed the weekend full but still had a lot of time to talk. It was amazing to just relax. I've forgotten how much I need it. Last night I sat down and finished the book I had been struggling on for weeks. I'll talk about it soon but I was just happy to dedicate a couple hours to reading. And I was happy to want to read. Now I'm happily moving on to a new book...or two...or three.

Tonight I'm writing a post. This isn't much of a post but it is at least something. My spell is hopefully broken. And I'll get back to regular blogging. But this is just my way of breaking that block. Get something out. I have a quote at work from a writer who talks about how she writes. She talks about those days where the writing flows and she feels good. When asked about the days when it doesn't flow, she responded that she scribbles nonsense until things start to make sense. That's what I feel like this post is, the nonsense I need to get through, for the rest of the words to flow. Here's hoping it works.

Here's the actual quote from the interview rather than my poor paraphrase:
From Marsha Diane Arnold:
Do you have any rituals in your work habits? If so describe them.

I prepare a cup of hot tea or herbs. I sit in my chair. I turn on my computer. I light a candle. I call to my muse. I stare at the screen or the last words I wrote. I sit. I sit some more. If I’m lucky, wondrous words come. If wondrous words don’t come, I scribble nonsense until they do.

I'm Late, I'm Late

The White Rabbit by Sir. John Tenniel

I'm a huge Alice in Wonderland fan. I've read the books a couple dozen times and wrote a post about the Annotated Alice which Keith (one of my wonderful readers) had recommended. So I could think of nothing better to kick off this post than the white rabbit's mantra. I'm so late at getting posts out that it's not funny. I'm falling behind. I keep worrying that my posts aren't perfect so I don't post a damn thing.

So today that changes. I'm going to post crap some days. Be warned. These last three weeks I haven't posted because I am feverishly reading children's books and young adult novels. Several years ago my mother purchased the book 1001 Children's Books that You Must Read Before You Grow Up. So I'm trying to read them. So far I have about 200 under my belt. And I apparently want to finish the other 800 this week. I've made five trips to the library in the last two weeks. All of them (except one) have included more than a dozen books. I read a chapter book today.

Now I'm not likely to finish anytime soon. Many of the books are international stories that might be a bit tricky to find. But I'm going to try. I like having a goal. Even if it is a bit on the outrageous side. But I'm going to try not to let this take me away from everything else. "Everything in moderation." A lesson I still haven't learned. I'll keep you posted.

PS. If you haven't managed to read Lewis Carroll's brilliant but odd Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, you need to find a copy. Start tonight. Then let me know what you think.

Complications of Moving and, a Book Review

I moved my computer upstairs with the idea that it would spur on my creative writing. I set it up in my library, in the place where my typewriter had been. I hoped that it would help as I try to create the next great american novel. Instead I found that I still wrote long-hand in paper journals and sadly that I didn't bother to blog at all. It's been almost two weeks since my last post. Not my brightest plan.

I can't completely blame the move though. I've been partially absent because I've been reading. Voraciously. I haven't turned on Netflix in weeks. I haven't been out much. Instead I've been devouring books. The moment I finish one, I pick up another. The second that one is done, I've selected another. The clerks at the library practically know me by name. And I'm starting to make a dent in my "to be read" bookcase at home.

I've been blessed that most of the books I've read this month were very good but one of them was so good that I had to share. My dad had given me a copy of Margaret Atwood's The Blind Assassin a couple of months ago. I'd put off reading the book for some unknown reason. A week or so ago it landed at the top of my stack so I picked it up. And was simultaneously confused and intrigued.

The Blind Assassin tells the story of the Chase sisters, as told by Iris Chase who is now in her 80s. It also tells the story of two unnamed lovers who meet for their trysts and end each meeting telling a continual science fiction story. All in all there are really three or four different stories being told. The book begins after Laura has driven off a bridge and died. Laura is known as the author of the brilliant book The Blind Assassin, which was published posthumously. Iris is besieged with her sister's posthumous fame, all the while living a quiet life. Then Iris begins to tell the story of their childhood. Recounting early crushes, early crises, and the way too early death of their mother, we start to get a sense for who the girls were. We also get a feel for the time they grew up in. As the book continues, the twists and turns begin to untangle until we finally see how all the stories in the book entwine and how perception is not always truth.

When I got with 100 pages of the end of this book I was so desperate to finish that it was almost painful. This is of course the moment that my week conspired against me. I had something going on every night that kept me away from my book until nearly 11 at night. My lunches, which are normally reading time, turned social and I wasn't able to read during the day. I stole whatever moments I could but I was in agony to find out what happened. The two people who had read it before wouldn't tell me anything. They would just wink and say "you'll see". At the time I was mad they wouldn't tell me. When I finally did find the time on Friday, I was glad they hadn't said a word. The discovery was just as delicious as the novel. This was by far the best book I've read in months. Now if I had only been more productive with the blogging while I was reading it.

Hide and Seek

I've been hiding recently, which would explain why it's been over two weeks since I last posted anything. Don't feel bad, I've posted to Facebook with about as much regularity and haven't read a blog in weeks. I guess I've taken an internet sabbatical, although it's not been quite as productive as a true sabbatical.

Thank you for continuing to seek me while I've been hiding. I'm still amazed that people read this blog and I appreciate your willingness to stop by and stare at the same image for a couple of days in a row. You are all wonderful, far better than I deserve. And I'm ready to post. I'm out of hiding and things are starting to look up.

First and foremost I'm starting to slow down on my reading. Since I last posted here I've read eight books. I finished two in the last three days. I'm finally reaching a point where I'm ready to come back online.

Secondly I've been going through a bit of an antisocial period. Am I the only one who has these? I go through periods where I don't really want to talk or email. I retreat into my own head for a while and do nothing more social than go to work and occasionally talk to Jeff. This has been one of the more intense antisocial periods I've had. I've had emails piling up, friends I should call, Facebook statuses to update, and all I've been doing is sitting on the couch eating chocolate and reading. Not the most productive period of time.

And lastly, although I've missed writing the blog, I've been writing other things. I'm back to writing stories which make me incredibly happy. Nothing I can talk about yet but I'll keep you posted. So with all that said, I'm back. And feeling a bit refreshed.

Losing and Living

I'm back! Hopefully for good. I decided I needed to step away from the blog world for a while after I changed jobs. As you probably know I moved into a new section of the office a couple of weeks ago and was trying to get adjusted. The new office came with a window, a new team, and a whole host of new duties. I took the week to settle into my spot on the team. But I didn't have long to be settled.

I started with the new group on Friday. The next Thursday one of my team members, and a close, close friend passed away. He was 31. When he didn't arrive at work that morning we called. When he still didn't arrive I called his fiance who's a friend of mine. And just about that same time we found out about his death. I was completely undone. Jason was an amazing friend, an amazing person, and well...simply amazing. He and I started talking because he happened to be a scuba diver, and I dive as well. That led to other conversations about books and flying and ghost hunting. And those conversations started leading to lunches. We talked about everything. And Jason always had great stories to tell.

Jason was friends with almost everyone in our department and as I was soon to find out with quite a few people from all walks of life. His memorial was standing room only. I wept for most of the service. And I laughed at the stories that others had about him. Jason would have wanted me to laugh. After the funeral me, Jeff, and a coworker headed out for drinks in Jason's honor. Then the next day I headed back to the office. An office that would never really be the same.

I've shut down for the last three weeks. I haven't read any blogs. I haven't read my comics. I haven't even spent much time online. I've focused all my attention on work, reading, and knitting. Over the last two weeks I've covered my work and Jason's work and I've still paused every time I walked past his cubicle. My new team has been fantastic and I'm really happy at work. But I still miss my friend.

So these past couple weeks I've read and knitted since I didn't seem to have a brain for anything else. And today I'm finally starting to feel like it's time to go back to living. Jason would have wanted me too. He lived fully. He did more in his short life than I will probably do in 50 years. He packed his life full of experiences. It's time I started heading back towards living. Time to reconnect. And I'll start to think about moving on but I'll never forget. This post is for you, Jason. I'll miss you, buddy.

Big Round Numbers

In May of 2008 I started a blog with the idea of sharing what I was interested in. I wrote about whatever struck my fancy, and still do. At the time I had two readers, my sister and my friend Josh. I didn’t go around making the blog public and I certainly didn’t do any marketing of it (still don’t, I’m terrible at marketing myself). What I did do was make a promise to myself that I would try to be consistent with it. I’ve tried to write at least four days a week. Some weeks it happens, some weeks it doesn’t.

And in those two years I can track my history. I know what was going on in my life on those days. I read back and remember parts of my life that I forgot about, magic moments, tough times, interesting ideas, and current obsessions. And they are fascinating to me. I’ve been pretty blessed throughout all this.

But what makes me really blessed is that my two early readers are still there, still reading but now there are a number of others that have joined them. Some of you are friends that I’ve known for years that are willing to put up with my rambling. Some of you found me through other blog mentions and have stayed. Some of you have become friends through this blog. And I’m blessed because of all of you. You are what keep me writing. I’ve wanted to offer you something new every day. I’ve wanted to let you know about what fascinates me. I’ve wanted to share parts of my life and you’ve been wonderfully accepting. You’ve read, you’ve shared your knowledge with me, and you’ve been supportive and amazing.

Today is my 500th post. We always seem to celebrate the big round numbers and I’m pretty happy with this one. Five hundred times I’ve sat down and wrote about something. Some of the posts were good and I’m proud of those. Some of them were silly or rambling. Some were just plain bad. And some of them were hard to write. But you guys were there and I knew that. For 500 entries, you’ve been a part of my life. And for that I Thank You.

In honor of my 500th post, I’m taking a bit of a break. As you may or may not know I’ll be traveling next week and won’t have access to a computer. So sadly there will be no posting for at least the week. But when I come back I’ll have plenty of pictures and excitement to share. I hope you all will stick around.

Spam

Hi all. I have a couple other posts I want to write this afternoon but I wanted to do some blog maintenance first.

I love all the comments you leave me. Please know that I read everything you write and will make sure to respond to every single one. I enjoy this being a dialogue.

That said I've been getting some spam on my comments. Mostly advertisements. I'm actually kind of flattered. I didn't realize I had enough readership to be worth spam. But if it continues I'll be turning on the word verification setting. Just for a little while. Sorry for the inconvenience.

New Schedule

One of the bonuses of my job is the hours. They are mostly stable Monday through Friday. I don't have to work too much overtime and I only occasionally have to take work home. One of the other bonuses is that the state offers what they call an adjusted work week. For the last three and a half years I've worked the standard set week. On Friday I start my new schedule and it may impact the blog a bit.

The way it works is that I will start working 9 hour days most of the week. And then I get every other Monday off. I'm going to start this new schedule with the Monday after Christmas. What that means for me is that every other weekend is a three day weekend. What it means for you is that I won't always be good about getting a post out on those Mondays. You know how good I am about posting over the weekend. Spotty is the nice way to put it. Non-existant is the other.

My plan is for that Monday to be a writing day for me. A chance to work on some stories I have rough drafts on, or create new ones. A chance to get some painting done. If I'm good and spend time at the computer, then I'll get a post out. If I waste the day, like I might, I probably won't. It could go either way. I love that I have this option for a schedule. It allows me some flexibility for a writing day. It also allows me some time away from work. Plus I generally work 9 hour days anyway, so this is just an added bonus. I'll let you know how it goes. I just figured I'd warn you. I'll try to be good. But I can't promise that the allure of spending the day out won't trump sitting at home writing.

Been Missing

I'm back. Okay I've actually been back in the country since late Sunday night. I've been mentally back in the game since last night.

I have tons of pictures to show you from Mexico. It was gorgeous. Truly beautiful. The resort was incredible, the all-inclusive aspect was wonderful, and the wedding was very pretty (enough adjectives?). And I've been meaning to post pictures and write about the trip but I just haven't been in the mood. Monday I spent the whole day with my aunt and uncle who were visiting. Tuesday I began kicking myself to sit down and write. So yesterday morning, after enough kicking, I decided that I would make this an extended blog vacation. I wouldn't post until I felt ready to. I wouldn't feel pressure to produce. I don't ever want this blog to feel like a job, a chore, something I have to do. Rather it should be something I'm excited to do.

All this week I've been coming home at night and crashing. I lay on the couch and stuff my face until I finally fall asleep. It's been hell on my mood and completely unproductive. I decided to change things up yesterday. Last night I sat on the couch and read. I watched TV and knit. I read more. And sometime last night a switch was thrown. I felt like myself again. I woke up this morning invigorated. I found at least three things I wanted to talk about just this morning alone. And I figured it was time to break my silence. A week and a half is a pretty long time for me to go without writing (or at least blog writing. I wrote free-hand all trip long). So this is just to say I'm back. I am composing in my head a post about the wedding and the trip that I'll post tonight. With pictures.

Sorry all

This is just to tell you that I will be taking a brief blogging hiatus. Work has been crazy and the internet is still down at home. We don't know when the issue will be fixed or really what the issue with it is. (Yes Jeff is going into withdrawl) With possible travels this weekend I won't be able to post until Monday at the earliest. Sorry.

Book Review and News

News first before I get to the book review. First and foremost on a personal level. I spent a good chunk of time this evening finishing my first hat. It's not perfect, it's not even good, (it's a little big) but I'll wear it with pride. My plan is to do a hat and scarf combination and have them ready to go for next winter. Hat down, scarf should take me a couple of months with how slow I knit.  The hat cost me a skein of yarn and a couple hours of work, but I've never been prouder. Well anyway, here is my new hat. 

In different news, some of my readers have found this blog through BigRedKitty's excellent blog. I am gladdened and saddened to hear that he is throwing in the towel. Saddened because I won't have his incredibly entertaining writing to cheer me each morning. Even not being a hunter I enjoyed his in game and out of game stories. His self-depreciating humor and witty turn of phrase made him one of the most popular WoW blogs out there. But I'm gladdened because he made the decision for the right reason. He has figured out that he's spending too much time playing WoW, and writing about WoW, and has been neglecting his family. As much as I enjoy the game, real life takes precedence. So I salute him for making the tough choice but for making it for the right reasons. 

And now to the book review. As I mentioned I've been interested in birding lately. That extends to my reading as well. So when I was in the library and spotted "A Supremely Bad Idea: Three Mad Birders and Their Quest to See It All" by Luke Dempsey I had to pick it up. I'm glad I did. This is an entertaining read partially for the journeys and the birds seen. This book sent me to the Cornell University Lab for Ornithology multiple times. After reading about the rare birds they were searching for I would go to the website to see pictures and learn more about the species. 

The three mad birders in the title are just that. The book followed the author along with two rather unique friends as they travel across the country birding. There are trips to Texas, Michigan, Florida, Washington, and Arizona, to name a few. Dempsey mixes a good conservation message with sheer love of birds. As he mentions, they are not listers, but they want to see as many species as they can. But, like me, he is not willing to leave a beautiful bird just to make another checkmark on his list. The love and respect the author has for birds comes through clearly. This is part bird book, part travelogue, and part memoir. And it's all interesting. 

Not keeping up (with the Joneses or anyone else)

I logged onto my Facebook account for the first time in three weeks. I looked at all the new notifications that I have. I read one new email. And I glanced at the number of requests that I had. Then I logged out. I didn't even accept my requests. I think I'm officially burnt out on Facebook.

A friend of mine got me started with the site and I played around with it a bit. I created a profile, found some friends, and added a couple applications. Then I lost interest. I tried to maintain at least some connection with the site for a while. I'd log in, send out silly requests, and post to people's walls. But my heart really wasn't in it. I wanted to say more. I prefer conversation to superpokes. Throwing a frog at me tells me nothing about how your life is going. The site is okay for email but I actually prefer regular email systems.

The one good thing that has come out of my early interest in Facebook is this blog. As I realized I wanted to say more I decided that I would start this. Now I spend significantly more thought on this then I do log time on Facebook. I figure I spend all day at work on the computer, I spend some of my evenings on the computer playing World of Warcraft, and I try to fit in more and more time at the computer for writing. I'm done with sites that are just time wasters. I don't really feel like I have a lot of time to waste. So for those of you who read my blog, that are waiting for me to come back strong to Facebook, sorry. I'll try to log in occassionally but if you really want to contact me, text, phone, or email works best.