Thursday, January 21, 2010

Getting Back on the Horse

I'm not always good about facing my fears. I still have problems with wax museums, no matter how many I've been to. Yes I'm afraid of wax figures. Completely irrational, I know. Based entirely on one horrible childhood experience. I'll tell you about it one day. I did manage to get over my fear of driving in winter so that now I can actually get to work and back without white-knuckling it. But currently I've developed a new fear. And this one is a bit more incapacitating.

I'm terrified right now of walking on ice. I have these great ice clamps for my crutches. I have YakTraks for my shoes. I can even walk with both feet on the ground. Yet through all this, I'm still terrified of walking on ice. So when the state was hit with almost a half an inch of freezing rain yesterday, I decided to stay home from work. Jeff didn't have class and I didn't want to walk outside. I've already had my crutches come flying out from under me on wet tile, and a small patch of ice on the driveway. I wasn't ready for hockey rink type ice.

I know this fear isn't irrational. My little sister texted me yesterday morning to say that I shouldn't go out. I took her advice (Thanks Em!) and emailed my boss. Everyone is very understanding, particularly with my situation but when I woke up this morning I knew I had to go. Even though the sidewalks are still very slick and there have been hundreds of falls throughout the city, I knew that if I didn't go out I never would. I'd be constantly afraid of the ice and never willing to set foot on anything slippery. So I went to work, and shocker of all shockers, I didn't fall. I didn't even slip once. The drive had been salted. The roads were in good shape. And I made it to work without so much as a misplaced crutch. It may not seem all that brave to you, but I consider it a first step in facing a mostly rational fear.


Corrine said...

Good for you, Cat, for being brave and facing your fear. I am glad you did not encounter any mishaps! Maybe sometime soon you can make a trek up to Ames...I will make sure the driveway is free of ice! Not because of your fear (although you have begun to conquer that) but because it is courteous and safe for all of us! :)

Susskins said...

Rock on with your bad self, girl.

Cat B said...

Sounds like a plan Corrine. This weekend won't work but perhaps next weekend. I'm finally at a point where a longer ride in the car isn't too painful. I'll talk to Jeff and see if one of those nights will work.

Susskins, Thanks! You're awesome.