I've Still Got Sand in my Shoes

It was cold but felt wonderful

I've been home for a week now and am only finally readjusted to life. I spent the week before in Clearwater Beach, Florida and am missing the beach so badly it's painful. Back in December my parents mentioned that they were thinking of taking a trip in February to get away from the cold and snow. I happily volunteered to keep them company. My little sister and I ended up accompanying my parents to one of the prettiest beach I've seen in a while.

My parents in front of our beautiful hotel

We stayed on Clearwater Beach, just outside of Clearwater/St. Petersburg. The hotel was amazing, the kind of place that gets featured in Travel and Leisure magazine (a magazine I love). It was the Sandpearl Resort, and it was every bit as lovely as the pictures. The weather was warm and lovely the first two days and then became cooler and rainy. Of course by cooler I mean 50s, which was at least 50 degrees warmer than it was here.

The view from the balcony

We had an amazing trip. We swam with manatees, saw some incredible artwork, ate great food, and spent lots of time relaxing. I'll be sharing most of my pictures over the next couple of days. But today is all about the beach. Clearwater Beach is a pristine stretch of white sand. This is sand so soft that your feet melt into it. There is nothing course in this sand. There are shells everywhere. I brought back a small collection of them. It was one of our favorite pastimes to walk the beach and collect shells. Most of the time, with the mist and rain, we had the beach to ourselves, as my sister demonstrates below.

My sister enjoying the beach to herself

My sister on our long walk

The Gulf was way too cold for swimming but we walked in the water. I spent half of my time with the bottom of my pants soaked. But I loved the feel of the water on my feet. I'd forgotten that the sun could provide warmth. I'd forgotten that there is water that didn't freeze in the winter. I sat out on the balcony in the room and wrote and thawed. A wonderful trip.

 Watching the sunset as we did every night. 

Emilie

For those of you who don't know I'm one of five children. The oldest and youngest are boys and the middle three are girls. I'm the middle child and the middle girl. I'm blessed to have wonderful siblings who I adore. We all get along well when we get together, even if we didn't always when growing up. My childhood was wonderful because of them. But it would be really hard to tell the story of my life without my little sister. Emilie, this is for you.

My little sister's birthday is tomorrow and I've been thinking about her all week. I was two years old when my little sister was born. Almost from the beginning Em and I shared a room. From before I can remember to turning 16 I shared a space with my sister. Of course we used to fight like cats and dogs. Sharing a room may be one of the worst things for siblings. Em and I, although most of the time we got along wonderfully, fought bitterly about the room. I'll admit that I was messy, and probably annoying to live with. We'd divide the room down the middle frequently but she always got the bathroom and the door, so I was at a disadvantage. I remember how excited I was to move to my own room at 16.

Sisters Exploring the World Together

Fast forward...um...many years and I can't think of another person (outside of Jeff) that I'd rather spend time with. I adore my sister. She's one of the most positive and energizing people I've ever spent time with. She is curious, intelligent, kind, peaceful, and wonderful. She has been my constant champion in all my endeavors and I can't thank her enough for that. She teaches me something every time we get together and she inspires me. Every time I see her I wish we had more time to spend. She's often busy but we still get together. She works two jobs and is going to school. I couldn't be prouder of her. She's not just a wonderful little sister but she's a lovely person.

My lovely sisters (me, Emilie, and Alissa)

Tonight I went through all my old photos to see if I can find pictures of the two of us. We were often dressed alike and treated like twins. My parents referred to us as "the girls". They bought us matching toys and clothes. I found pictures of that. But the big thing I noticed was the smile that my sister flashes in all of her pictures. And the smile that gave me. I'm lucky to have a little sister like her. I'm lucky to get to spend time with her. And even though we didn't always get along, I'm lucky that I got to grow up right next to her. I love you little sis!

Isn't that smile wonderful?

Groupings

Jeff and I were recently in Iowa City and as I got out of the car at the gas station I was startled by the sound of birds. Lots of birds! Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" number of birds. The trees right next to the gas station were filled with hundreds and hundreds of starlings. I stood and listened to them for a while but a thought kept bothering me. I had just learned what a group of starlings was called. They have a special name, not just flock. It bothered me all the way home.

We have lots of specialized words for groups. Almost everyone knows that a group of fish is a school. Or a group of lions is a pride. But not as many know that a group of starlings is a murmuration. Or that a group of owls is a parliament. Luckily I have a handy reference guide, that my sweet little sister gave me. An Exaltation of Larks by James Lipton (yes, that James Lipton) is filled with group names. A leap of leopards, a pod of whales, a host of angels. Some are more common than others. Others are far stranger.

The moment I got home from our trip I picked up my book and flipped through until I found the starlings. The book has no index so it's more about browsing than just finding. It is organized from most common to ones created by Mr. Lipton himself. The groupings are interspersed with pictures. My sister had seen it in a used book store and had bought it knowing my love of words and trivia. It is a joy to look through if you like words and wordplay.  It's a gift that I've come to appreciate more and more.

Here are just a few more examples of interesting grouping names:
A Murder of Crows (one of my favorite grouping names)
A Siege of Herons
A Singular of Boars
A Charm of Finches
A Tiding of Magpies
A Clowder of Cats
And of course An Exaltation of Larks

By the way, if you've never seen starlings in their flocks, you need to see this. Starlings (as much as they are disliked) have some of the greatest flying displays ever.

Birthdays

It's birthday month for me. Over the course of five weeks I have five family birthdays. My little brother had his at the beginning of February and although I couldn't be with him (he lives in St. Louis) I called him and thought of him. It's odd to think that my little brother is now over 30 and is getting married sometime in the next year or so. I still remember him as a little boy in shorts.

My little sister is next. We celebrated her birthday last week by meeting at my parents house to open gifts and then headed over to one of her favorite restaurants in town. If I haven't mentioned it I adore my little sister. And impressed with her. She's working two jobs and going to school right now so I don't get to see her as often as I would like but we try to make every moment together great. She's one of my favorite people to talk with and I'm constantly learning new things from her. She balances me out.

Dad and Mom

Today is my father's birthday and we celebrated with dinner at one of his favorite Indian restaurants and some quiet times talking back at his house. He even made brownies for his birthday. My dad is awesome. I'm constantly in awe of him. He's incredibly smart and his excitement for things is a bit contagious. Like me, he picks up hobbies and dives full force into them for a while. Actually he and I are very similar in temperment and interests and get along well.

My nephew is the next birthday. He's young enough that no one will mind if I say that he'll be turning 11 this year. He's my brother's middle child and is definitely the most active of the three kids. He's constantly on the go. When he's not playing sports, he's drawing or designing stop motion movies with lego characters. He doesn't live in Des Moines so I don't get to see him as often as I'd like but he's a pretty great kid.

My mother's birthday is next week to round out the month. If I was to use one word to describe my mother it would be generous. My mom is constantly thinking about others. Having just come from her house, I'm covered in fur from the animals she keeps taking in. She constantly wants to make sure that Jeff and I don't need anything. So I hope that when we celebrate her birthday next week that I'll be able to find something special for her.

I know I rarely talk about my family and I'm not sure why that is. I get along great with everyone in my family and love the time we get to spend together. Family dinners are something that I look forward to all week. So this is my attempt to at least mention more about my family. They mean so much to me that it's time they entered the blog. At least until they tell me to stop writing about them.

It's Not an Obsession...

It's more of a compulsion.

I have a confession to make. I'm Cat and I am a journal addict. I just keep buying them. Jeff rolls his eyes whenever we pass a stationary store. He knows we're going in and that it will cost us a bit more money. I have almost an entire bookshelf filled with blank journals. And I just can't stop buying them. Every time I pass a cute journal I feel a need to have it.

I have probably well over 50 blank journals. I honestly haven't counted. I think I'm afraid to know. I've been slowly filling them but it's nowhere near the pace I purchase them at. The image above is just a very small selection. I buy all different kinds: spiral bound, leather bound, composition books.... I tend towards journals with fun images on the covers but I've been known to buy a nice plain one too. The awesome Know Your Zombies journal was a birthday gift from my little sister. She wanted something beautiful and timeless. So I got this. It's awesome. She even inscribed her favorite quotes on some of the pages. It is one of my favorite gifts ever. I cried while looking through it. That's hard to say that with a Know Your Zombies journal but it was really one of the best things I've ever received. I'm thinking of using it for quotes. Thanks Sis! I love it!

The journal with the keys on it is the one I'm working in now. It's so short that I'll probably fill it within the month. And I'm sure I'll find one that I simply can't live without this month. I apparently need to write more. Or find some good blinders.

Travels With Charley...well actually Cat

Did you miss me? Thanks for understanding as I took a bit of a break. I needed to step back and remember why I write this blog. I also needed the time to recover and get past all my travels. I have been on the go for what seems like weeks now and last week I just crashed. I didn't read. I didn't write. I just crashed. And truthfully I simply couldn't think of something to blog about, so I figured that was a perfect time to step away.

I've realized that in the last month I've been to Alaska, Minnesota (twice), Nebraska, and all over Iowa. I've spent more time on the road these last weeks than I have at home practically. And when I have been at home it seems like I've been busy. But things are starting to settle down. I'm starting to relax again and feel a bit more like me. I'm the kind of person who needs time to myself. I need time at home to keep me centered. Too much movement and after a while I get frustrated. Now don't get me wrong I love to travel, I just can't do it all the time.

You've already heard about Alaska. Beautiful, wild, stunning Alaska. We arrived home Tuesday morning and I had two days of work that week. But on Thursday I found out that my sister-in-law's father had died. This man had been an uncle to me. We'd known the family well before my brother and sister-in-law got married. He was a great guy. So of course I had to go to the funeral. Back on the road as we made the trip to Albert Lea, MN.

The next weekend we were at home but oddly Jeff and I didn't stay home. In our continuing wanderlust we headed out into Southern Iowa to drive the backroads and see what we could see. And we found some amazing state parks, small towns, fun shops, and lots and lots of scenery. We spent the whole weekend driving and hiking. Constantly on the go. Constantly not at home.

The next weekend saw us North again as we headed up to the Cities to catch our friend Josh in a play. He's done summer stock theater for a couple years now and we try hard to make it up for the shows. I missed last year so I wasn't about to miss The Music Man this year. Plus it happened to be our anniversary weekend. We arrived Saturday afternoon and hung out with our friend Jon playing video games. Then headed over to the play that evening. The next morning we had breakfast with our thespian friend before heading further north to spend the afternoon with our friend Lon and his kids. We sat around in the shade as the kids splashed in the kiddie pools. We didn't even start heading for home until 5 and didn't see the house until late that night.

And that brings us to this past weekend. In April, for my older sister's birthday, my little sister had promised a girls weekend. We looked at the calendar and picked a weekend in August for the sisters to get away. A road trip. Of course that happened to be last weekend. We debated on what to do and where to go until I finally suggested a cute little boutique hotel close to the Old Market area in Omaha. The hotel was booked and on Friday we headed out. We took the long way getting to Omaha, traipsing through gravel roads and through small towns. When we arrived at 9:30 Friday night we quickly checked in and headed out for dinner and some drinks. Followed by more drinks. We ended the night talking in the hotel and finishing off a bottle of whiskey.

The next morning we headed out to a little cafe off the Old Market for breakfast. A great little greasy spoon cafe which helped to settle my hangover. After that it was shopping. I bought a new journal (shocking huh), some bacon flavored floss for Jeff, tons of candy, and a bit of jewelry. Then on to lunch at my favorite place in Omaha, M's Pub. I think I can safely say that this was probably the highlight of the trip for us. We ate, we drank, we laughed until we cried. It was the best two hour lunch I've ever had. Completely refreshing. After that was more shopping and then some naps. The next morning we headed out earlyish with the idea of seeing some of the sights around Iowa. We drove North through the Loess Hills State Park and then headed East. We took pictures at Albert the Bull, the world's largest bull (I'll post pictures of him tonight). We also stopped at the spinning ear of corn which my sister had read at 50 feet. It turned out to be 5 feet, and needless to say, a bit underwhelming.

We finally arrived home late that evening but my visiting wasn't over. My relatives had decided that this past weekend was the perfect time to come in for a visit. My cousin and his family had come in, my brother and his wife had dropped off the kids at my parents house, and my little brother had made the trek north from St. Louis. I arrived home and immediately headed over to my parents house to visit. I spent all Monday with them as well. My cousin left Monday, my little brother leaves today, and the kids are being picked up on Saturday. I think I'm ready for a weekend with nothing going on. I feel like I've been going non-stop. Here's hoping for a little relaxing. And some time to blog.

[For those of you who don't know the title of this post is a reference to my favorite Steinbeck book, a bizarre travelogue as Steinbeck travels around the county in an RV with his beloved poodle Charley. It's not like most of Steinbeck's other books but I love his view of traveling and getting to know the people. It's on par with Blue Highways as one of my favorite road trip books.]

Poetry Friday

My little sister Emilie told me last weekend that she loves being one of the few family members who reads this blog because she gets quite a few shout-outs. And while that's not the main reason I mention her frequently (that's mostly because I love her and love spending time with her), she is correct that she's one of my only family members who reads this. My dad will check in occasionally but a lot of my family is simply not that computer literate or perhaps not that interested (for my own ego I'm going with the computer literate one :-) ).

So today's post is for my older sister who won't get a chance to read this. And no worries on that. I'm actually just happy that she reminded me of this poem that I can share. We are both Pablo Neruda fans, particularly his love poems, and this is her favorite. So without further ado.

If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Sushi for Vegetarians

I had a fantastic weekend of writing, reading, and relaxing. Other than dinner on Friday and breakfast out both Saturday and Sunday (a rare treat) I never left the house. It was a rainy weekend and I was quite content to stay in. We slept with the windows open and I fell asleep both nights listening to the rain. I wrote four blog posts, read three books, and pretended to do some real writing and drawing. Overall it was a productive weekend that ended up being incredibly relaxing.

On Friday I had plans with my little sister to go out to dinner. We had some family things that we had to talk over and what better time to do that than over the dinner table. She'd left the choice of location up to me and I spent most of Friday wracking my brain as to where to go. Finally that afternoon I texted her with my answer, Miyabi 9, the best sushi place in Des Moines. It certainly doesn't hurt that it's within walking distance of my office. She loves the place too and responded back quickly with something that sounded to me like Yum!! Of Course!

My always thinking little sister got there early and snagged us a table (not always possible without a huge wait on a Friday night). We ordered beers and started studying the list of rolls. Now I know what you have to be thinking right now. Yes I'm a vegetarian. No that doesn't mean that I can't have sushi. What it means is that I can't have any fish. What my limited four year Japanese education taught me is that sushi is vinegared rice with seaweed. Properly done it is possibly the best dish on the face of the earth. Raw fish, which often goes with sushi, is called sashimi. I'm welcome to eat sushi, just without any sashimi.

My sister sweetly agreed to go vegetarian with me that evening and gave me carte blanche to order. And apparently order I did. What seemed like just a couple rolls on paper turned into an entire tableful of rolls. The count we took before diving in was 48 pieces. I wish I could tell you that we finished everything on the table. I know we both gave it an incredibly valiant effort. But that is a lot of rice, a lot of cucumber, and way more avocado than anyone should eat in one sitting. It was amazing. Emilie found her new favorite vegetarian roll (avocado-cucumber) and I gorged myself on tempura yam rolls. Mmmm. A to go box was in order and we promptly packed up the leftovers for her to have as dinner the next day. After dinner we headed out to my favorite coffee house in the city, Rituals for a little decaf and some continued conversation. It was a wonderful night and I have to thank my sister for it. Love you little sis. Thanks.

Getting Back on the Horse

I'm not always good about facing my fears. I still have problems with wax museums, no matter how many I've been to. Yes I'm afraid of wax figures. Completely irrational, I know. Based entirely on one horrible childhood experience. I'll tell you about it one day. I did manage to get over my fear of driving in winter so that now I can actually get to work and back without white-knuckling it. But currently I've developed a new fear. And this one is a bit more incapacitating.

I'm terrified right now of walking on ice. I have these great ice clamps for my crutches. I have YakTraks for my shoes. I can even walk with both feet on the ground. Yet through all this, I'm still terrified of walking on ice. So when the state was hit with almost a half an inch of freezing rain yesterday, I decided to stay home from work. Jeff didn't have class and I didn't want to walk outside. I've already had my crutches come flying out from under me on wet tile, and a small patch of ice on the driveway. I wasn't ready for hockey rink type ice.

I know this fear isn't irrational. My little sister texted me yesterday morning to say that I shouldn't go out. I took her advice (Thanks Em!) and emailed my boss. Everyone is very understanding, particularly with my situation but when I woke up this morning I knew I had to go. Even though the sidewalks are still very slick and there have been hundreds of falls throughout the city, I knew that if I didn't go out I never would. I'd be constantly afraid of the ice and never willing to set foot on anything slippery. So I went to work, and shocker of all shockers, I didn't fall. I didn't even slip once. The drive had been salted. The roads were in good shape. And I made it to work without so much as a misplaced crutch. It may not seem all that brave to you, but I consider it a first step in facing a mostly rational fear.

Poetry Friday for my Sister

I have a great family. I'm blessed in that I enjoy spending time with my family and that I can count them not only as family but as friends as well. I've been spending a bit of time lately with my little sister and have been loving it. She's one of the most encouraging and giving people I know. She always has a kind word for everyone. She's incredibly smart and always has great book or music suggestions for me. Half of my good music collection comes from her. She's just one of the most wonderful people and I'm so excited that I've gotten to see so much of her these last couple weeks.

We were sitting out having coffee recently and she mentioned that she's never read this poem. So Emilie, this one's for you. It gives me chills to read it again. Robert Frost is a master.

Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

For Alissa

It's funny that I'm writing this post for my sister Alissa. Not surprising since it is her birthday today but surprising because she doesn't read my blog. Then again, my parents don't read my blog either. I'm not sure what that says about me. Frankly, I'm not sure I want to explore that line of thought. Of my immediate brothers and sisters, only my little sister Em reads this. (Thanks Em)

So this is for my older sis, who'll probably never read these words. I always wanted to be like you. When I was younger my sister was my idol. I wanted to be her. I wanted her devil-may-care attitude and her ability to get along with almost anyone. I wanted her innate sense of style and her outgoing nature. She's always seemed to be surrounded by friends and been well-liked by pretty much everyone who knows her. She's been courageous, living on her own terms, making her own mistakes. And I wanted all that. I myself was shy (painfully so), gawky, and kind of a dork. I've worked through some of the shy but I'm still a dork. I'm lucky I can dress myself in the morning some days. (my sense of style lacks something...oh yeah, style) But I learned a couple tricks from my sister. I've learned to love strong black coffee and black as a clothing choice. I've learned that style may be innate but it can also be borrowed (I've stolen so many clothing and decorating ideas from her). I've learned that family is stronger than friends. And I've learned that we all need to grow up to be who we are. We are born and raised in a family. And we grow up to be completely different people.

My sister's going through kind of a rough time right now and I've been trying to be there for her although I'm not always great about keeping in touch. It's been hard to watch her lose some of the confidence that she's always seemed to possess. I'll see her tonight for dinner. It's a family tradition. We'll spend some time together with my parents and hopefully my sister. And hopefully, at least for tonight, we can remind her of who she is. Who she's been. The three of us sisters may look alike, but we are different as night and day. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be as popular as my older sister, or as independent as my younger sister. But when you put us together, particularly in the kitchen for some reason, we can laugh until we cry. We compliment each other, me playing the straight man to their comedian. I'm the more serious of the three (and sometimes the oldest). So for my big sis, I love you. May you always be that strong, confident person that I know you are inside.

Curses

My older sister has this amazing belief in serendipity that I happen to envy. She seems to believe that things happen for a reason and that they happen at just the right time for her. For example, when she is looking for a job, suddenly that is the time that she strikes up just the right conversation with someone and they mention that they are looking for someone. And of course it is exactly what she's always wanted to try. I am a little envious of that belief but perhaps a little more envious of the fact that it normally seems to work for her.

In the last year or so I've come to the belief that Murphy's Law seems to be the law of the land. I'm not saying that I'm cursed but I notice certain negative patterns. It is normally the moment when I think that the neighbors will be quiet and I can sleep, that one of them comes how loud with a stereo blaring. Or the instant that I think to myself that my job is pretty good, then the world's most frustrating projects get dropped on my desk. It seems to always be when I'm optimistic that the world brings me back down to earth.

What got me thinking about this was a post that I did before about driving in snow. I had said that I was feeling very confident about this winter. That I knew I could handle the snow. That was apparently the moment that Mother Nature laughed and decided to see what she could throw at us. For the record I have been driving every day. I have not hidden away but this year has really been a doozy for me so far. The awful trek home from Iowa City was followed by snow every other day it seems like. Yesterday we had 4 inches. On Sunday we had well below freezing temps and a dusting of snow. Tomorrow is the kicker. We'll see how I do. They are predicting freezing rain. (my nemisis)

I'm sure I can handle it but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I wonder if part of this is not a self-fulfilling prophecy. Since I'm worried about the weather I just happen to notice it. Since I'm thinking about how frustrating my job has been, it becomes that way again. The lack of positive thinking colors anything that happens. Perhaps that is my sister's secret. She simply doesn't worry about what's coming and so is pleasantly suprised when it turns out well.

I'm actually surprised by this post. I have normally been a rather optimistic person. I'm not sure where this feeling of being cursed comes from. That's something for me to work on while I drive home on ice tomorrow.

Knitting Night

My little sister taught me to knit about two years ago. She patiently explained the stitches to me and then helped me along as I screwed up. She and I have been knitting together weekly since that time. I've only done a couple of projects. I tend to knit very slow and don't do a lot of knitting at home. Over the last couple months we've added a number of new people to the group. We meet at a different coffee house either Monday or Tuesday and talk and knit. I am always amazed at the number of people who stop by to say how they used to knit, or how they've always wanted to learn. We believe in the "more the merrier" so everyone is pretty much invited. 

Of the nine people that are currently on my list, only four or five can make it each week. It's always a different mix of people. The one constant for most of the group has been my project. I have been working on a rather long scarf for the last 8 months. (did I mention I'm a slow knitter?). Tonight I finally finished the project. I just have to brag. I started on a hat this evening and have a great start on it. I even remembered how to join. But for my little sister, who I know reads this, my scarf is above. I'm sorry you won't see it. I'm giving it to my friend tomorrow morning. And I'm so excited.