For Alissa

It's funny that I'm writing this post for my sister Alissa. Not surprising since it is her birthday today but surprising because she doesn't read my blog. Then again, my parents don't read my blog either. I'm not sure what that says about me. Frankly, I'm not sure I want to explore that line of thought. Of my immediate brothers and sisters, only my little sister Em reads this. (Thanks Em)

So this is for my older sis, who'll probably never read these words. I always wanted to be like you. When I was younger my sister was my idol. I wanted to be her. I wanted her devil-may-care attitude and her ability to get along with almost anyone. I wanted her innate sense of style and her outgoing nature. She's always seemed to be surrounded by friends and been well-liked by pretty much everyone who knows her. She's been courageous, living on her own terms, making her own mistakes. And I wanted all that. I myself was shy (painfully so), gawky, and kind of a dork. I've worked through some of the shy but I'm still a dork. I'm lucky I can dress myself in the morning some days. (my sense of style lacks something...oh yeah, style) But I learned a couple tricks from my sister. I've learned to love strong black coffee and black as a clothing choice. I've learned that style may be innate but it can also be borrowed (I've stolen so many clothing and decorating ideas from her). I've learned that family is stronger than friends. And I've learned that we all need to grow up to be who we are. We are born and raised in a family. And we grow up to be completely different people.

My sister's going through kind of a rough time right now and I've been trying to be there for her although I'm not always great about keeping in touch. It's been hard to watch her lose some of the confidence that she's always seemed to possess. I'll see her tonight for dinner. It's a family tradition. We'll spend some time together with my parents and hopefully my sister. And hopefully, at least for tonight, we can remind her of who she is. Who she's been. The three of us sisters may look alike, but we are different as night and day. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be as popular as my older sister, or as independent as my younger sister. But when you put us together, particularly in the kitchen for some reason, we can laugh until we cry. We compliment each other, me playing the straight man to their comedian. I'm the more serious of the three (and sometimes the oldest). So for my big sis, I love you. May you always be that strong, confident person that I know you are inside.