Late Night Visitors

This post is my 400th. I'm both happy or sad about this. On one hand, 400 is a ton of writing. This blog has been a therapist, a forum, and a great excuse to write. I love writing it and I love sharing the interesting things I find. I've enjoyed every step of the way. But on the other hand, it's taken me almost a year and a half to get to 400. That's a lot of days missed. So I'll try to be faster with the next 400. I don't intend to slow down with this anytime soon.

That said, on with the show. I have to share about my new found friend. My new noisy neighbor who keeps me company late at night. Since I broke my leg, I haven't been sleeping well. I can doze off for about 45 minutes at a time. Then I wake up and need to find a new comfortable position so I can get another 45 minutes of sleep. What that means is that I'm up for a good chunk of the night tossing and turning. I've started to dread bedtime because I know that sleep won't come easily. But there is one bright side to the early morning hours.

I think it was the second or third night after my fall that I heard it. He or she (I'm actually not sure) is a Great Horned Owl, a name that cannot help be remind me of Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH. Every night, starting shortly after midnight, it begins its calling from the woods right near my house. It will keep up its quiet hooting up until 3. When I first heard the hooting I was intrigued and couldn't sleep. Now I find it soothing. The owl's quiet noises lull me to sleep. I've started looking forward to hearing him. I probably won't ever get a chance to see this magnificent bird but hearing him has certainly eased my insomnia a little. It may still take me an hour or so to fall back to sleep but at least the time is peaceful and relaxed.

If you get a moment, check out the Great Horned Owl entry on the Cornell University Lab of Ornithology. You can even play a recording of the typical hoots of this beautiful bird. Or any other bird. This has to be my favorite site for learning bird calls. Great resource.

Getting Back on the Horse

I'm not always good about facing my fears. I still have problems with wax museums, no matter how many I've been to. Yes I'm afraid of wax figures. Completely irrational, I know. Based entirely on one horrible childhood experience. I'll tell you about it one day. I did manage to get over my fear of driving in winter so that now I can actually get to work and back without white-knuckling it. But currently I've developed a new fear. And this one is a bit more incapacitating.

I'm terrified right now of walking on ice. I have these great ice clamps for my crutches. I have YakTraks for my shoes. I can even walk with both feet on the ground. Yet through all this, I'm still terrified of walking on ice. So when the state was hit with almost a half an inch of freezing rain yesterday, I decided to stay home from work. Jeff didn't have class and I didn't want to walk outside. I've already had my crutches come flying out from under me on wet tile, and a small patch of ice on the driveway. I wasn't ready for hockey rink type ice.

I know this fear isn't irrational. My little sister texted me yesterday morning to say that I shouldn't go out. I took her advice (Thanks Em!) and emailed my boss. Everyone is very understanding, particularly with my situation but when I woke up this morning I knew I had to go. Even though the sidewalks are still very slick and there have been hundreds of falls throughout the city, I knew that if I didn't go out I never would. I'd be constantly afraid of the ice and never willing to set foot on anything slippery. So I went to work, and shocker of all shockers, I didn't fall. I didn't even slip once. The drive had been salted. The roads were in good shape. And I made it to work without so much as a misplaced crutch. It may not seem all that brave to you, but I consider it a first step in facing a mostly rational fear.

Crime Drama That's Criminal to Miss

I've had a lot of time to watch TV these last couple weeks. In fact it's one of the few things I can do once I get home from work. I find that most of the time I'm too worn out for any real writing and reading hasn't sounded all that good. So the TV goes on and I become a blob on the couch.

Most of the time I don't watch much though. If the TV's on I'll check out a old Mythbusters episode, or a rerun of NCIS. But that's really it. And I never plan my evenings around a show. That is, until recently. Jeff and I have become completely enraptured with USA's new series White Collar. The show follows the exploits of Neal Caffrey (a master forger and white collar criminal) and his brand new boss Peter Burke (FBI agent). Peter is the only person that's been able to capture Neal before and when he escapes from prison, Peter is brought in to recapture him. But this time, Neal isn't sent back to jail. He's given an tracking anklet, a two mile radius, and begins to work with the FBI solving forgery and other white collar crimes.


Like that other Odd Couple series from days ago, this show is all about the differences between the two characters. Peter is incredibly smart but by the book and a little on the dull side. Neal, on the other hand, is charming, manipulative, cocky, and impulsive although he's just as smart. The two play off each other beautifully. Peter is constantly frustrated by how easily things come to Neal and Neal is always trying to get Peter to see things in less than black and white. Each episode is a different case although there is one thread that runs through the whole series. Neal escaped from prison to save his girlfriend Kate. He has had contact with her but she is being held by someone. The series interlaces the crimes with the hunt for Kate.


It's hard to imagine that the premise of this show would make it all that good. When we first saw previews for the show not only was I not really interested, I was a bit annoyed with how frequently they were played. But after the first twenty minutes of the first show (Neal's amazingly daring escape from prison) I was interested. In the first episode, when Peter leads Neal to his new home (a seedy motel) and then returns the next morning to find him living rent free in a Penthouse apartment (must be nice to have charm), Jeff and I were intrigued. And the end of the first episode sealed it for me. After that, Jeff and I made no plans for Friday night. We had a date with White Collar. The new season starts tonight and from now on I won't have any plans for Tuesdays. I never expected to like a series this much. But it's just too clever, too witty, and too engaging to pass up. A guilty pleasure but a somewhat intelligent one.





Main Cast from left to right: Peter Burke (Tim DeKay), Elizabeth Burke, Peter's wife (Tiffani Thiessen), Neal Caffrey (Matthew Bomer), and Mozzie, Neal's friend and fellow con (Willie Garson)

Good Health News

This break has been one of the most difficult and frustrating things in my life. I don't even want to admit the number of times that I've thought about just staying in and not leave the house for the next couple months. I've thought about never leaving the couch unless I had to. I've been in pain, afraid, and frustrated by hauling myself around on my hands. I've nearly fallen from the crutches hundreds of times. Anyone who tells you that crutches are no big deal is lying...or selling you something.

But with all this frustrating something else has happened. I'm amazed at how easily I can be made happy. The first time I dressed myself with the boot on was a moment of joy. The first time I opened a door on my own I was texting Jeff to share my excitement. When I first learned the step to get into the house, I was practically in tears with joy. I've become easy to please.

And today was a great day. I went to the doctor and finally got my staples out. The wounds are healing well and soon I won't be needing gauze or the ace bandage. But even better news was that I can start bending my ankle. In fact I should be working nightly to bend and flex the foot to improve mobility. The first time the doctor helped me bend my foot back felt bizarre. Apparently my ankle has forgotten how to move.

And that wasn't even the best news. The big thing is that I can finally start putting weight on the foot. I'm shocked!!! Two weeks after surgery and I can start putting 10-20 pounds on the foot. That's enough to use my leg to steady myself. I'm four legged now. And I'm so thankful. It took Jeff months before he could step on his foot again (he didn't have surgery) and I'm starting to walk after just two weeks. I could have kissed my doctor when he said it. And I'm on a perpetual high today. Yesterday I hardly left the couch if I didn't have to (I've been having a lot of pain in my hands) and today I'm up and moving as often as possible. I would say that I'm easy to please but this was just way too good of information. I feel like I'm really on the road to recovery now.

Up, Up, and....

Well still here. I'm having an odd week. As you all know I haven't done any posting this week. I've been in full recovery mode. The only thoughts that have been running through my head this week have been how to get from Point A to Point B. That means that all the things I want to talk about, all the cool things I've learned this week, all the interesting films I've seen, have been relegated to the back of my mind while I concentrate on learning crutches and finding out how to do things I've taken for granted before. Like eating breakfast, and showering.

But there is only so long I can go without writing, much like reading. And this was the breaking point. So I'm going to start with something that happened what feels like months ago. Last week I watched Pixar's Up and I've been wanting to talk about it. As most of you know I'm a HUGE Pixar fan. Other than Cars, which I thought was lackluster, I have loved everything that Pixar has ever created. Their movies are wonderful, their shorts are funny and poignant, and everything they create has tons of heart.

This movie is no exception. When I say that I cried within the first 20 minutes of this film you will understand exactly how much heart this movie has. I fell instantly in love with the love story between Carl and Ellie. We watch them meet, fall in love, get married, and follow them throughout their lives. This is done with little dialogue but by the end we are already in love with this couple. Those first twenty minutes of the film, may very well be my favorite montage in a film ever. I laughed, I cried, and I sighed with them. And that was just the set up.

The film follows Carl who, after Ellie's death, decides to carry out her last wishes and move to Paradise Falls in South America. He rigs the house with balloons and manages to fly there, with one stowaway, a young boy scout named Russell. Although Carl is not happy to have Russell with him, he realizes that getting him home would be problematic and the two become unlikely partners. When the house lands close to the falls, Carl and Russell decide to walk there to set up. Along the way they meet Doug, a talking dog and Kevin, a gigantic bird that becomes the basis for all the movie's conflicts. They also meet a famous explorer who Carl once idealized. He has been hunting for Kevin for decades and has been driven mad by the search. He and his army of talking dogs then start hunting for Russell and Carl since they know the whereabouts of the bird.

It is an odd plot and in places is far more intense than I would have expected. The flight from the crazy explorer (Charles Munts) and the later fight against him was action packed with tons of impressive animation work. The visuals are beautiful throughout the film. But what really stuck with me was the heart of the story. The love story between Carl and Ellie and later the friendship between Carl and Russell really made this movie for me. We see how Carl changes over the course of the film. This is his story, and never has a children's film about an old man, created such a stirring realistic character. Kids will love the talking dogs and the moments of slapstick once the pair reach the Falls. Adults will love the character of Carl and the film's ideas of relationships, idolization, and life. Me, I just fell in love with the whole thing.

I Have Clearance

It's not everyday that I say words like this but...Yay, I get to go back to work!!! After a long week of being cramped up at home, I'm finally heading back to work tomorrow. I saw the doctor this morning and he cleared me. Actually what he wrote was "return to work as tolerated". Which may well be the greatest words ever written. What this means is that, not only do I get to go out into the world again, but I get to set the schedule for it as well.

I can tell you right now that there is no way that I would be able to work 9 hour days in the condition that I am in. I simply could not sit with my leg down for that long a period of time. Plus I've gotten used to mid-afternoon naps (if that sounds like bragging, it is :-) ) and the occasional pain pill. I've also gotten used to having my own schedule. This work release, along with the wonderfulness of my boss, is allowing me to go back to work for 5 hour days to see how it goes. The rest of my hours will be made up with sick leave. I'm incredibly excited about this.

You would think that getting to stay home for almost a week and a half without any pressures would be wonderful. You would think that getting to read, sleep, eat, and watch TV whenever you want would be nice. But it gets old. Quick. And more than anything it is a tad isolating. I've had a number of people stop by to check on me. I've run my phone battery out a couple of times with long conversations with friends. I've had my brief forays to the doctor's office. But other than that, my only contacts have been Jeff and friends through Facebook. I love Jeff and this week he has proved to me that I truly married the right man. But there is only so much together time we can take. As for Facebook, I've had a ton of wonderful well-wishes from friends. I was touched by how many people were worried about me. But typing on a website is just the not the same as face to face conversation. And even that, after a while has left me feeling restless. An entire week straight with little interruption and no where to go has made me a bit antsy.

So as odd as it sounds, I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow. I'm excited about having some work challenges rather than just getting around challenges. The crutches are providing their own issues but I'm ready to be with people again. I'm ready to be social. But more than anything else, I'm ready for a little normalcy.

Should Have

I should be posting more. I have a ton of time. I have really nothing to do but lie here on the couch with my feet up, spend time on Facebook, and watch TV. And that's exactly what I've been doing. I haven't been terribly ambitious for anything that requires too much thought. I've watched a ton of movies, some that I want to talk about, others that I've seen over and over. Jeff and I are doing a very slow Lord of the Rings marathon this weekend. We watched Fellowship Friday night, Two Towers last night, and will finish with Return of the King tonight. As a friend of mine on Facebook said, "if those movies can't heal broken bones, nothing will".

But I should be taking this time to blog, to write, to paint, and even to read. Instead I watch hours of old NCIS episodes, Family Guy, football, and an endless number of commercials. I read countless comics, find new photo sites, and spend literally hours checking in with friends. I traditionally only spend an hour or two a week on Facebook. This week I've probably spent 12 hours on it. I have spent a good chunk of time on the phone and I've had a number of friends and family who have stopped in to see me. The time is actually passing quickly but none of it is really productive. I haven't even had my journal out once. I should have posted every day. But being laid up has left me without an sort of ambition. Even climbing the stairs, something that I've gotten better at, made me feel tired.

My hope is to be better this week. I'm hopefully going back to work on Tuesday but even then I'll probably only be able to do half days to begin with. I get tired easily and still have some trouble concentrating. I'm not taking the pain pills as frequently which is helpful. I guess all of this is to make excuses for the fact that this has been one of the more exciting weeks of my life and I've hardly written anything about it. And it's my hope that getting this little bit of fluff post out there will spur me on to do some more writing. I have to remember that this boot will probably be my constant companion for many many weeks. It's time to settle into a normal life, just with a couple new accessories.

Drugged Up

This may or may not make sense. I've been trying to do some writing since I'm pretty much stranded on the couch. I can do some simple writing and reading but anything beyond a paragraph and the words start to jump all over the page. With a full page of text and I started to get that glazed look and my eyes just close. I'm half asleep most of the day.

It's the pain pills they have me on. They work okay but the real side effect is that I fall asleep at the most inopportune moments and that I can't seem to do any real reading. Jeff went out and bought me a lap desk which is just wonderful but even as I type this it is difficult to see the words. I'll try to keep something posted but I can't pretend that it will be anything good. Right now I'm sitting on the couch, watching Scrubs, dozing off, and pretending to write. I also thought about taking pictures of my foot. They changed my bandages today and it was so incredibly gross that even Jeff got a little nauseous. And that's saying a lot. I don't think my feet should have that many colors. I found it mostly fascinating but I think most people would have been sick. I won't subject you guys to pictures although I'm tempted. Or maybe just high on pain pills.

Starting my New Year with a snap, crackle, and pop

I wish I could say that I made Rice Crispy treats and that is the reference. Instead I stepped on some ice badly and my feet went out from under me. I caught myself with my ankle and landed in the middle of the street. Jeff was with me and immediately came to my aid. The pain was intense but I was aware enough that I knew I needed to take my shoe off. The sound I had made just told me that I'd broken something.

Jeff and my dad (I was in front of my parents' house) loaded me into the car and we had a bit of bumpy ride to the Emergency Room. After x-rays and a couple hours of waiting the doctor informed me that I'd broken both my fibula and my tibia (the leg bones connected to the ankle bone, the ankle bones connected to the.... :-) ). In fact, I was broken in three different places. He sedated me and reset the bone right there in the ER. They casted the foot and sent me home with the promise to see the orthopedic doctor on Monday morning. I didn't sleep that night because of the pain and all through Sunday I lay on the couch. I've gotten pretty good with the crutches and the pain has gone down quite a bit. I'm almost comfortable.

I went in for my appointment with the ortho doctor early this morning. He walked in, showed me the x-rays and instantly started talking surgery. I guess the break was so bad that there would have been little stability with a conventional treatment. Instead a surgery would make it stable and possibly speed recovery. Considering I've never broken anything or really even been in the hospital for myself, this was nerve wracking. I went from fine three days ago, to broken, to my first surgery in less than 72 hours. I remember being taken into the Operating Room. The anesthesialogist said that he would be giving me some oxygen and starting the anesthetic. I remember saying that I was a bit dizzy and then I was out. I woke up an hour and a half later in recovery. The doctor came in to say that the break had actually been a lot worse than he had thought. I spent an hour or so in recovery and then went home to pizza, a comfy couch, and the occasional nap. Although it's not something I recommend I realize that this could have been a much worse accident. And I've been lucky with the number of friends and family offering assistance. I may be broken, but I'm still pretty blessed.

Moon

As an added note, Happy New Year all. Not only is it the end of a year but the end of a decade. Always something to be marked. And to add to that excitement, there is an odd moon tonight. Tonight is a Blue Moon (a second full moon within a month), something that only happens every couple of years. I would be curious to find out the last time that a Blue Moon fell on New Years Eve. I would bet many many moons ago. It is also a partial lunar eclipse tonight, although we in the U.S. won't be able to see it. So some unusual astronomical occurances for the New Year. If only I believed in omens...

Home Plans

I have a bit of an odd stress reliever. When I'm bored or frustrated or stressed, I look at home plans or home listings. I come by it honestly. My mother, although she's never dreamed of building a home, continually brings home blueprints books. You see them in the grocery store or hardware box store. They contain blueprint after blueprint which are available for sale. Neither of us will ever buy a blueprint. But I love to look at those plans.

Jeff used to get frustrated with me that I always took home an Iowa Realty listing from the store. I'd even grab apartment guides. When we finally bought the house I think he assumed that it would be over. That I'd stop looking. What he didn't understand was that it wasn't the buying I was interested in. It was the looking.

Perhaps it is the possibility that I love. I enjoy looking at sites like Realtor.com which offer pictures of houses for sale. I can imagine all the possible ways to make the house my own. This is of course funny because I've done very little to customize our own house. But I'll imagine laying new floors in this one, putting a pool in that backyard, or even just picture my library in one of the rooms. Or I look at the blueprints and imagine what the house would have to look like. What configuration is right for us. Again I'm not really in the market, I just find it soothing.

This week's been a bit odd. I'm just starting to get used to my new nine hour days. Strange that I was easily working 8.5 to 9 hour days before. But now that it's mandatory it's much more draining. So on my lunch hours I've been staying in and looking at houses. I've found a couple in Des Moines that I wouldn't mind owning. I've glanced at homes in Asheville, a city I've become fascinated with. I looked for houses in San Antonio for no reason whatsoever. And in between I've been checking out blueprints on HousePlans.com. I'm much more relaxed and suddenly I'm thinking of fixing up my place. After all, these homes for sale have some good design ideas.

Bing

I'm trying to remember when Google appeared on the scene as the primary search engine for the world. Google has easily outstripped all other engines in terms of usage and I would argue, versatility. As a librarian, I know that it is not a great research tool but I will admit that if you have an idea what you are looking for, it is invaluable.

This past year the word has been Bing, a new search engine put out by Microsoft. I've done some comparison work and still prefer Google for most of my search needs. But every morning I dutifully go to Bing.com. I go for the photography. Every day, Bing posts an image as the backdrop for their interface. And every morning I am completely blown away by the image. I'm not sure where they are finding these photographs but I want that source.

The images then offer links to learn more about the animal, place, landmark, etc.... I've learned a lot about different landmarks just by finding an image I liked. I clicked on an image of Stari Most, the Old Bridge in the town of Moster in Herzegovina to find out all about it's history. I learned about the Falkirk Wheel in Scotland after seeing a picture on Bing and wondering what the heck it was. I got to reminisce about my trip to Maui after seeing the image below. This picture was taken at the Black Sand beaches on the road to Hana. I stood on this very beach but my pictures don't come anywhere close.

Bing is not going to be my new search engine. I've done scientific comparisons and simply feel that Google is a better engine. But there is something about serendipitous learning that draws me. It's the same way I love to walk aisle by aisle through a library to see what catches my eye. I'll keep going to Bing to learn new things, to find new places, and to see the beautify of the world around us. For that reason alone, I hope they keep the site up.

Speed

When I was younger my mother would tell me that her years passed by faster the older she got. I was young and the days seemed to stretch on for eternity. So of course, I didn't believe her. I almost hoped for the years to go faster. I wanted to reach 13...16...18....21. I was ready to grow up and, at that time, time moved too slowly for me.


I started noticing it at 25. A subtle shift in time. A speeding up. And this last couple years I've really been feeling the speed. I know that my years have not actually sped up but with relativity they certainly feel quicker. This year has passed in a blur. With all the changes around the house I can hardly recognize who I was in January but it also feels like I blinked and missed most of the year. Each day (particularly the work days) seemed to drag but the weeks flew and the year passed me by way too quickly. It feels like only a couple weeks ago that it was summer. Now it's the end of the year.



So like each New Years before it I'll make my resolutions (should I be scared that they are almost always the same ones?) and watch the next year fly by. I'm hoping to actually get to some of those resolutions, particularly the weight and writing ones. I've made a deal with myself to lose 33 pounds this year (my 33rd one). I've also made a deal with myself to write everyday if only for 15 minutes. Now if I could only make a deal with myself to slow down time.

Clock image from Salvador Dali's The Persistence of Memory.

Merry Christmas All

In a few short hours I will be winging my way southward with the hopes of reaching at least Hannibal, Missouri before the weather finally catches up to us. I'm fleeing a storm that may very well bring 12 inches of snow to my fair city. I understand that my friends up north are receiving much more. My big hope is that we can get out before the rain we've been getting starts to freeze and change to snow. I'll keep you posted.

I'll be in St. Louis this weekend which should get quite a bit less snow and will be hopefully much warmer. I'm not sure what my internet access situation will be so I won't promise any posting. I also won't have a ton of time. So this measly thing might be it for the rest of the week. Merry Christmas all!! I hope you get a chance to spend time with family and friends. To relax after the sometimes exhausting Christmas season. That you get a chance to eat tons of food and that everyone stays safe and warm. I'll be thinking of you all. Be safe, be loved, be merry.

New Schedule

One of the bonuses of my job is the hours. They are mostly stable Monday through Friday. I don't have to work too much overtime and I only occasionally have to take work home. One of the other bonuses is that the state offers what they call an adjusted work week. For the last three and a half years I've worked the standard set week. On Friday I start my new schedule and it may impact the blog a bit.

The way it works is that I will start working 9 hour days most of the week. And then I get every other Monday off. I'm going to start this new schedule with the Monday after Christmas. What that means for me is that every other weekend is a three day weekend. What it means for you is that I won't always be good about getting a post out on those Mondays. You know how good I am about posting over the weekend. Spotty is the nice way to put it. Non-existant is the other.

My plan is for that Monday to be a writing day for me. A chance to work on some stories I have rough drafts on, or create new ones. A chance to get some painting done. If I'm good and spend time at the computer, then I'll get a post out. If I waste the day, like I might, I probably won't. It could go either way. I love that I have this option for a schedule. It allows me some flexibility for a writing day. It also allows me some time away from work. Plus I generally work 9 hour days anyway, so this is just an added bonus. I'll let you know how it goes. I just figured I'd warn you. I'll try to be good. But I can't promise that the allure of spending the day out won't trump sitting at home writing.