Losing and Living

I'm back! Hopefully for good. I decided I needed to step away from the blog world for a while after I changed jobs. As you probably know I moved into a new section of the office a couple of weeks ago and was trying to get adjusted. The new office came with a window, a new team, and a whole host of new duties. I took the week to settle into my spot on the team. But I didn't have long to be settled.

I started with the new group on Friday. The next Thursday one of my team members, and a close, close friend passed away. He was 31. When he didn't arrive at work that morning we called. When he still didn't arrive I called his fiance who's a friend of mine. And just about that same time we found out about his death. I was completely undone. Jason was an amazing friend, an amazing person, and well...simply amazing. He and I started talking because he happened to be a scuba diver, and I dive as well. That led to other conversations about books and flying and ghost hunting. And those conversations started leading to lunches. We talked about everything. And Jason always had great stories to tell.

Jason was friends with almost everyone in our department and as I was soon to find out with quite a few people from all walks of life. His memorial was standing room only. I wept for most of the service. And I laughed at the stories that others had about him. Jason would have wanted me to laugh. After the funeral me, Jeff, and a coworker headed out for drinks in Jason's honor. Then the next day I headed back to the office. An office that would never really be the same.

I've shut down for the last three weeks. I haven't read any blogs. I haven't read my comics. I haven't even spent much time online. I've focused all my attention on work, reading, and knitting. Over the last two weeks I've covered my work and Jason's work and I've still paused every time I walked past his cubicle. My new team has been fantastic and I'm really happy at work. But I still miss my friend.

So these past couple weeks I've read and knitted since I didn't seem to have a brain for anything else. And today I'm finally starting to feel like it's time to go back to living. Jason would have wanted me too. He lived fully. He did more in his short life than I will probably do in 50 years. He packed his life full of experiences. It's time I started heading back towards living. Time to reconnect. And I'll start to think about moving on but I'll never forget. This post is for you, Jason. I'll miss you, buddy.

Spoils of DragonCon

I didn't go to DragonCon although I would have loved to. Instead my dad and my brother made the trek to Atlanta to partake in the wonderful geeky goodness. For four days they were surrounded by stormtroopers and klingons and steampunk outfits and enough costumes (and exposed flesh) to fill Hollywood for a good decade or so. I wish I could have gone but I'm happy enough to see their pictures and hear their stories.

But my dad went farther than that. I had mentioned two artists whose work I love, both of which were going to be at DragonCon. I've loved Brian Despain's work for a long time. If you've forgotten I wrote about him here. I mentioned to my Dad that Brian would be there and to keep an eye out for his work. The other artist was Bobby Chiu. I've been meaning to write about Bobby for a while now and hadn't had the chance. Dad wrote down their names and I figured that was the last of it.

My father came home on Monday and we had dinner that night. Dad was telling us all about the trip and he mentioned that he'd picked up Bobby Chiu's book Chiutensity. Half of the book includes Chiu's artwork and sketches, the other half has Chiu's partner at Imaginism Studios, Kei Acedera's artwork. Acedera's work is just as incredible as Chiu's and I'm still debating which half of the book I like better. My dad got both of the artists to sign it. I also got a number of cards from Imaginism along with a DVD of Chiu's lecture on digital painting.

Then Dad got very sad. He informed me that Brian Despain sadly didn't have a book for him to buy. He had looked at the artwork but didn't see a book and Brian mentioned that he hadn't produced one yet. So instead he had simply bought me a print! More to the point he bought the print below. You could have bowled me over I was so excited. I don't often go all fangirl but a print was well beyond my wildest dreams. I love it. My padre picked so well. I still have to frame it but I'm all ready to hang it up in my studio. I didn't get to go to DragonCon but the spoils of the convention were well beyond my expectation. Two of my favorite artist's work under my roof. Thanks Dad!!!

Bird Photos

As I sat outside today I started taking pictures of the birds and playing with the zoom on my camera. I took two photos that I'm the most excited about. I love how close they are and how detailed.

A pair of Black Capped Chickadees

A weather-beaten looking Titmouse

Lazy Sunday

The weather can't get much prettier and I am soaking it up. After finishing a really tough but fantastic book this morning called The Underneath (I cried like I was reading Charlotte's Web, which is to say a lot), I've spent part of my day relaxing on the patio watching the birds at the feeder. Jeff bought me some new birdseed from Wild Birds Unlimited and the birds are flocking to it. It's amazing what good seed will do. So I'm sitting outside writing and eating a huge salad and watching the world go by. It's an amazing day. Tonight I'll probably continue my reading jag. I've been working on the collected Sherlock Holmes stories for a couple weeks now and I'm completely hooked.

I also did some baking today, some homemade gingerbread cupcakes which are tasty but not quite as gingerbready as I would like. Yes I know it's not a word, but it makes sense right? I've found I enjoy baking. I really want to get into cake decorating eventually but for right now, cupcakes are right up my alley.

Oh and I have to share. Last night Jeff and I were having dinner when I suggested some bad TV. About a year ago I had picked up the first nine episodes of the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon I watched as a kid. We had never watched the DVD though. So last night we sat down and relived a bit of my childhood. The animation was primitive by today's standards and the violence was pretty tame. Jeff was reading that at the time, the show was considered one of the more violent out there. But all we saw were bad guys getting pushed around or tripped, never killed. The dialogue was cliche and Eric the Cavalier drove me crazy, but the show was still fun. I still like the odd way that the baby unicorn Uni spoke (didn't we have such original names in the 80s?). For $5 I think we got our money's worth.

Tomorrow is Labor Day. I'm probably heading to my parent's house for at least part of the day. For all of you out there, don't labor too hard tomorrow. For me, I'll be on the front porch with a book in my hand and some birds at the feeder. I love long weekends.

I Think a Change Will Do Me Good

I'm sitting in my temporary office writing this on my lunch break. The department has been undergoing a physical reorganization (which is a fancy way of saying that they're moving everyone around). I'm moving from my huge cubicle on the first floor, up to the third floor for the next two weeks, and then down to the second floor in my permanent home. It's a lot of moving in a short period of time but it seems to be having a good effect on my psyche.

I've been working in the same cubicle on the same floor surrounded by the same people for the last four years. Everyone has been incredibly nice and the space was very large, but I had recently decided that I was ready for a change. I wanted something new. And this move is making me see my old office in a new way. I have a different breakroom, I have a different bathroom, I have different walls. Everything looks different and feels different. It's actually wonderful. I'm enjoying the newness of everything.

Next week I move to my permanent location, a sunny cubicle with a window and an Eastern exposure. I'll have new neighbors and a new boss. I'll even have some new duties. And I have to tell you, I couldn't be more excited. It's amazing how much a change of scenery helps. I'm happy, I'm productive, and I'm comfortable. It's a good day.

Children's Movie Weekend

I've been trying to write this post since Sunday. Not sure why I'm having problems with it.

I spent the weekend reading and watching movies and doing very little else. It was blissful. I read three books this weekend, including a new Christopher Moore novel. I spent all day yesterday curled up on the couch. I drank numerous pots of coffee and wasted my days with words and moving pictures. It was a great weekend.

My movie taste lately has run to the juvenile. If it's not animated or geared towards the 10 and under set, I'm not interested. So this weekend I plugged in my earphones, curled up with my laptop, and watched three different kids movies. One animated, one children's classic, and one new classic.

The animated film was Flushed Away, a collaboration between Dreamworks and Aardman Studios. I'm a huge fan of Aardman, so I'd been excited to get a chance to watch it. The film follows a snobby spoiled fancy rat (played by Hugh Jackman) who gets flushed down the toilet and ends up in the rat world below. There he must help a ship's captain retrieve a jewel of hers that he helped hand over to the frog overlord of the Sewers. When the jewel proves to be a fake, the two rats set off to return Hugh Jackman's character home and replace it with a real one. All while being pursued by the frog and his henchmen. I've seen plenty of Aardman films and own my fair share. Sadly this one won't be joining my shelves. It was a decent movie with a couple good scenes but nothing that stood out for me. The animation was fun (it always is with Aardman) but it missed the sophistication of Wallace and Gromit or the witty writing of a Chicken Run. Not my favorite.

The second film was one I haven't seen in well over a decade. When I was a kid I loved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the movie based on the Ian Fleming novel about a car with a mind of its own. I love Dick Van Dyke's performance, I loved the crazy inventions, I loved the silly story, and I loved the car. I remember being terrified by the Child Catcher, although I don't remember understanding the Vulgarian society. I didn't understand how much of a tyrant the Baron was. Watching the film again this weekend I notice how many songs the film had. I hadn't remembered all of them. Although the ones I did remember are the ones I'm still humming today. I was just as impressed with how sweet the film was. There was a lot of humor but a lot of tenderness as well. A fun film that I'd somehow managed to ignore for almost 20 years.

But the winner for the weekend was a new film that will quickly become a favorite. I watched Nanny McPhee on Saturday and was instantly charmed by the film. The story focuses on seven incredibly naughty children who finally meet their match when Nanny McPhee shows up to whip them into shape. She's hideous, she's unconventional, and she's magic. She teaches the kids lessons by giving them exactly what they want, only more than they want. Emma Thompson plays Nanny McPhee perfectly. She starts the role hideous and strict, and slowly grows more beautiful and more likable as the children become more well behaved. But the best part for me was watching the children grow. They start out as selfish uncontrollable brats with a distant father; and gradually the family becomes more caring and loving, both the kids and the father. The movie had magic, had humor, and had heart. One of my new favorite kid's movies. Well worth a watch.

Poetry Friday

I found today's poem in one of the oddest places. At my little sister's recommendation I was reading "Kiss Me Like a Stranger", Gene Wilder's autobiography. I loved the book, loved learning about this brilliant writer and actor. And when Wilder meets his current wife he mentions a poem she had tacked up at her home. I instantly loved the poem and had to write it down. I have a copy of this up in my studio. If I was ever looking for an inspiring poem, this is it.

After a While
By Veronica Shoffstall

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Guess What I'm Reading?

I read a lot. A ton actually. I've read three and a half books this week, although one of those was a young adult novel. And I've noticed that I don't write about what I'm reading very often. So I'm going to try to add a Guess What I'm Reading segment. The title comes from Unshelved, a great webcomic about a library. You can find that particular story line here (it runs for five days). I also bought one of their "Guess What I'm Reading" bumper stickers to hang in my library.

Lately I've been reading Tintin. Tintin is the main character in a series of comics created from 1929 until 1954 by french artist, Herge. The character is a young journalist who gets into all types of international adventures with his friends: a crusty old sailor named Captain Haddock, a hard of hearing professor who's brilliant but absentminded, and a pair of detectives who couldn't find their way out of a paper bag. He is accompanied by his dog Snowy and often ends up saving the day against a troupe of bad guys.

I picked up my first adventure on a whim. I'd heard a number of children's book writers mention how influential Tintin had been for them. I figured it was worth a shot. The first story I read was "The Castafiore Emerald" and although I was a bit lost on the characters, I loved the adventures. It reminded me of the old Uncle Scrooge comics I read as a child, but with more humor. The adventures are a mix of slapstick, funny dialogue, and genuine excitement. The series has only started to gain a following in the US, but Tintin is as well known as Mickey Mouse in Europe. Charles de Gaulle compared himself to the character once. Steven Spielberg is currently working on an animated Tintin adventure to be released in December 2011. This is a character that has influenced generations and I'm just learning about him.

After the first adventure, I've been picking up books from all of the libraries in the city. The stories were just released in a boxed set and I've been buying the books, one at a time. I've decided I want to own all of the Tintin adventures. I haven't gotten a chance to read all the adventures but I'm excited to get the chance. It's a fun series with great characters.

Bird Feeder Woes

I came home from knitting tonight to find my new bird feeder damaged on one side. A big section of plastic was missing and most of the seed was gone. I had no idea what happened until Jeff told me to check out the video he had taken this afternoon. I now know what happened to my feeder...and the seed.

Seasons

Morning all. I woke up early this morning, took a quick shower and dressed even faster, all so that I could make coffee and sit outside for a bit before heading to work. The cat enjoyed the change in routine and I got to sit watching the birds until it was time to leave. A perfect morning. I might have to start making that a habit.

When I opened the door this morning I was instantly surprised by how cool it was. After weeks and weeks of over 70 degree weather in the mornings, today's mid-50s felt positively cold. And refreshing. I'm always seduced by this time of year. I LOVE the summer! Love it! But right after the fair ends I start wishing for fall. I am seduced by the cooler weather and the desire to play in the falling leaves. I start spending more time at home sitting on the patio. I may be a summer fanatic but I've always enjoyed the fall.

The only problem with fall is that it is followed by winter. I've often described it as the Sunday of seasons. I enjoy my Sundays but always in the back of my mind there is this reminder that I have to go back to work the next day. I enjoy the fall but always in the back of my mind there is the reminder that winter will be here tomorrow. And we all know how I feel about winter.

But for the moment I'm enjoying. I love my long-sleeve fall sweaters and jeans. I love sitting in the cool air sipping coffee and watching the leaves fall. I love the colors and crispness of fall. I love playing in the leaves and carving pumpkins. And today made me think that fall is just around the corner. I'm excited.

Sam Nielson

As you know I'm always on the lookout for new, interesting artists. I love to find someone whose work makes me happy or makes me think. Sam Nielson's work makes me incredibly happy. How can you not smile with an image like this?

I found Sam through the website Amusing Planet, a site that lists great artists, interesting places, fun ideas, and anything else that happens to fascinate them. I would put it right up there with Neatorama as one of my favorite new sites.

Sam works for Avalanche Software, a Disney software company. He works doing mostly digital art with a focus on characters. And he's amazingly good at it. I fell in love with his work the moment I saw this little guy eating a brownie (love the irony). I was so incredibly impressed with his ability to create characters that seem to have depth to them.

But it's not just depth that drew me, it's the fun he seems to be having. His characters jump off the screen. They are silly and fun and incredibly well done. I'll be holding up Sam's work for anyone who tells me that digital art isn't quite as good as paint and ink art. Wonderful characters and fun images. A great find.

I understand that Sam just put out a art book for San Diego Comic Con. Guess I'm going shopping.

The Value of Habit

It's been almost nine months since I broke my ankle. Surgery, recovery, and physical therapy have been good to me. I'm walking again and I'm starting to get back to a normal life. I still have some issues squatting on my heels and I still have daily, regular pain with each step. But it's getting better. I can walk, I can hike, I can almost dance.

I started thinking about this when my nephew Keith asked me whether I would ever be able to run again. He's ten and those kinds of things are very important to an active kid like he is. I said that I couldn't at the time, but that I was hoping to soon. And it's true. I would really like to be able to run again. I would like to be able to jump and dance and my real hope is that eventually I won't even have to think about my ankle. But I'm not there yet.

I'm still struggling to recover. My motion is not quite right and there is still a lot of internal scarring. I fell off doing my physical therapy exercises shortly after I stopped seeing my therapist. This week I've just realized how damaging that was. I've lost a lot of good recovery time thinking that walking was all I needed. Now I realize that if I had let the physical therapy exercises become a habit, I would be running by now. I would be dancing. I don't know if I'd be back at 100% but I'd be closer.

Last night I stood in front of the TV doing some of my exercises. It felt good to be stretching and strengthening those muscles. I worked on my calves and on my range of motion. And I'm feeling better today. I feel stronger, even with a bit of discomfort. So tonight I'm going to set aside some time to do all the exercises. Even a half-hour out of my day will hopefully let me improve. I was strong during physical therapy. I want to get back to that again.

Travels With Charley...well actually Cat

Did you miss me? Thanks for understanding as I took a bit of a break. I needed to step back and remember why I write this blog. I also needed the time to recover and get past all my travels. I have been on the go for what seems like weeks now and last week I just crashed. I didn't read. I didn't write. I just crashed. And truthfully I simply couldn't think of something to blog about, so I figured that was a perfect time to step away.

I've realized that in the last month I've been to Alaska, Minnesota (twice), Nebraska, and all over Iowa. I've spent more time on the road these last weeks than I have at home practically. And when I have been at home it seems like I've been busy. But things are starting to settle down. I'm starting to relax again and feel a bit more like me. I'm the kind of person who needs time to myself. I need time at home to keep me centered. Too much movement and after a while I get frustrated. Now don't get me wrong I love to travel, I just can't do it all the time.

You've already heard about Alaska. Beautiful, wild, stunning Alaska. We arrived home Tuesday morning and I had two days of work that week. But on Thursday I found out that my sister-in-law's father had died. This man had been an uncle to me. We'd known the family well before my brother and sister-in-law got married. He was a great guy. So of course I had to go to the funeral. Back on the road as we made the trip to Albert Lea, MN.

The next weekend we were at home but oddly Jeff and I didn't stay home. In our continuing wanderlust we headed out into Southern Iowa to drive the backroads and see what we could see. And we found some amazing state parks, small towns, fun shops, and lots and lots of scenery. We spent the whole weekend driving and hiking. Constantly on the go. Constantly not at home.

The next weekend saw us North again as we headed up to the Cities to catch our friend Josh in a play. He's done summer stock theater for a couple years now and we try hard to make it up for the shows. I missed last year so I wasn't about to miss The Music Man this year. Plus it happened to be our anniversary weekend. We arrived Saturday afternoon and hung out with our friend Jon playing video games. Then headed over to the play that evening. The next morning we had breakfast with our thespian friend before heading further north to spend the afternoon with our friend Lon and his kids. We sat around in the shade as the kids splashed in the kiddie pools. We didn't even start heading for home until 5 and didn't see the house until late that night.

And that brings us to this past weekend. In April, for my older sister's birthday, my little sister had promised a girls weekend. We looked at the calendar and picked a weekend in August for the sisters to get away. A road trip. Of course that happened to be last weekend. We debated on what to do and where to go until I finally suggested a cute little boutique hotel close to the Old Market area in Omaha. The hotel was booked and on Friday we headed out. We took the long way getting to Omaha, traipsing through gravel roads and through small towns. When we arrived at 9:30 Friday night we quickly checked in and headed out for dinner and some drinks. Followed by more drinks. We ended the night talking in the hotel and finishing off a bottle of whiskey.

The next morning we headed out to a little cafe off the Old Market for breakfast. A great little greasy spoon cafe which helped to settle my hangover. After that it was shopping. I bought a new journal (shocking huh), some bacon flavored floss for Jeff, tons of candy, and a bit of jewelry. Then on to lunch at my favorite place in Omaha, M's Pub. I think I can safely say that this was probably the highlight of the trip for us. We ate, we drank, we laughed until we cried. It was the best two hour lunch I've ever had. Completely refreshing. After that was more shopping and then some naps. The next morning we headed out earlyish with the idea of seeing some of the sights around Iowa. We drove North through the Loess Hills State Park and then headed East. We took pictures at Albert the Bull, the world's largest bull (I'll post pictures of him tonight). We also stopped at the spinning ear of corn which my sister had read at 50 feet. It turned out to be 5 feet, and needless to say, a bit underwhelming.

We finally arrived home late that evening but my visiting wasn't over. My relatives had decided that this past weekend was the perfect time to come in for a visit. My cousin and his family had come in, my brother and his wife had dropped off the kids at my parents house, and my little brother had made the trek north from St. Louis. I arrived home and immediately headed over to my parents house to visit. I spent all Monday with them as well. My cousin left Monday, my little brother leaves today, and the kids are being picked up on Saturday. I think I'm ready for a weekend with nothing going on. I feel like I've been going non-stop. Here's hoping for a little relaxing. And some time to blog.

[For those of you who don't know the title of this post is a reference to my favorite Steinbeck book, a bizarre travelogue as Steinbeck travels around the county in an RV with his beloved poodle Charley. It's not like most of Steinbeck's other books but I love his view of traveling and getting to know the people. It's on par with Blue Highways as one of my favorite road trip books.]

Mini-break

I just wanted to let you know that I'm on a slight mini-break from the blog this week and probably part of next week. I've been packing up my office and the library to move to a different floor in the building and just haven't been in the mood to write. Sorry about that. I'll try to get back into the swing of things by mid-Wednesday. Hopefully with something a little more entertaining than an apology about why I'm not writing.

Thanks for reading. I'll be back soon.

Don't Cry Over Spilled...Water?

It came down from the state meteorologist yesterday. This summer has been listed as one of the wettest summers of all time for Iowa. Wetter than 1993 even and that was the year we saw some heavy flooding. We've had two incredibly horrible nights of storms in the last two days. We were driving home through the first one. The second one I didn't even hear but the branch lying just inches from my car told me that it was a doozy.

But I didn't need the official pronouncement. Jeff and I went out hiking at Saylorville Lake, the local reservoir, and found out how wet it was on our own. The trail we took was actually pretty dry. Closed and off limits, but dry. After the hike, we drove around the lake and that's when it hit us. The lake was high, really high. We drove across the dam and finished our afternoon at the spillway.

The reservoir empties into the Des Moines River through a spillway. When I was in high school, the spillway was my favorite place to go to think. I would drive out there on a quiet afternoon and sit on the bench for hours. It was a great place to be alone. And a great place to feel small. The power of the water coming out of the spillway is humbling. Depending on the lake level, it is opened or narrowed to regulate the flow. This year...its impressive. I don't need a meteorologist to tell me that we're having a wet summer. All I need is to see that spillway. Here is a video of the spillway taken from the ground.

And then from the hill over the opening. It was so loud I couldn't hear Jeff talking to me only inches from my ear. Make sure to turn your sound down to watch these. They are just as impressive on mute.

I've also included a video of the lightning Jeff and I saw on our drive home over the weekend. Incredible. This doesn't even remotely do it justice. {Warning: I'm in the car for this. You'll want your computer on Mute to watch}