Optimism and Stupidity

I turned 35 today. Generally birthdays aren't a huge deal for me but for some reason this one is special. Turning 30 wasn't a big deal, but 25 and 29 were really hard. All of the birthdays between here and 30 haven't been anything special. But this birthday has been something different. I'm excited about this birthday. I've noticed that each year seems to get better. I'm at the age I always wanted to be. And now at 35 I really feel like things are going to begin for me. I'm stubbornly optimistic.

My day has been blissfully ordinary and I'm content with that. I had the day off as part of my odd work schedule so I slept in a little late. Jeff wished me Happy Birthday as he left to go to class. I stayed curled up under two blankets taking in the warmth. But I got up shortly after to make it to my dentist appointment. I don't normally schedule appointments like the dentist on my birthday but this was when he could get me in. And it feels like a new beginning. My mouth is clean and fresh and healthy (cavity-free!!) and I'm planning to make this year all about health. I plan to be lighter and healthier by my 36th birthday than I was this year.

I also plan to write more, and actually publish something during this year. As you can see I have high hopes for this year. 35 seems like a turning point, a crossroads if you will. And I'm determined that things will start going the right way. I set up my studio last night so all I have to do is show up each day and start writing. This afternoon as Jeff heads back to class I plan to head upstairs to write. I'm ready to have a little discipline in my life and hopefully the success will follow. Writing and walking will be my focus for the year. Did I mention I'm stupidly optimistic today?

I did though find some additional humility today. Jeff met me over at my favorite noodle place for a birthday lunch. We talked and ate our noodles and had a nice time. As we were leaving I reached in my pocket for my keys. They weren't there. I checked my coat pockets. I checked my purse. I checked everywhere again. No keys. As we got closer to the car I could hear it. It was still running. I had managed to leave my car in the parking lot, running and unlocked while I had lunch. I said a quick silent prayer to the gods of parking lots and thanked them for my car still being there. It could easily have been stolen. I should be kicking myself for my stupidity. Instead, today it just reaffirms my faith in humanity. Optimistic, I tell you. I'm just hoping that this wasn't a senior moment. I'm too young for those.

Library Longing

I went to an author's reading last night at one of the newly remodeled local libraries in town. I went early so I could wander at my leisure and check out the new structure of the library. I walked in and instantly started for the nonfiction section. It's become my favorite section lately. And I did what I always do. I wandered down each of the rows touching the spines and seeing what caught my eye. I picked up a couple of books that interested me. I know they have a card catalog on the computer but I prefer a serendipitous way of finding books.

During all of this time, I hardly saw another person. I wandered alone looking at books. And I was struck by how happy I was. I was at peace and contented. I couldn't think of a single place I would rather be or a single thing that I should be doing. And this morning I realized what that means. I was in my element. I was exactly where I should be. It doesn't have to be that library, or even one in this city. But I'm fated to be in a library. It is where I am the happiest. And that was a beautiful thing.

Then I'm Happy and Sad For You

It's been an odd weekend. A really odd weekend. It's been a weekend of both extreme happiness and extreme sadness. I've laughed heartily and I've cried miserably, within hours of each other. I've had warm bear hugs that warmed my heart and I've had consolation hugs that offered comfort.

My weekend started on Friday much like so many of them do. I had taken a half-day so we could drive up to Minneapolis for a friend's birthday party. The half-day was more fortunate that I realized. At 11:30 my department was called into a meeting to say that our boss had been let go. Now this was not just a boss the way I've had bosses before. This was a friend. We were all in shock. Some of the department was going out for lunch, just to get out of the office. I called Jeff to see if he could pick me up a bit early. I sent my now former boss an email to see if he needed anything. Jeff came right at the perfect moment, just in time for me to start crying. The office won't be the same without him around.

The drive up was okay but I was still pretty upset. Once we got up there though I was distracted. There was dinner at a sub place with a good friend of ours before heading over to the birthday party. We saw a ton of  people that we only see twice or three times a year. So it was an evening of hugs, good conversation, plenty of food and friends, with some Rock Band thrown in. Jeff and I stayed late into the morning, finally leaving the party around 3, which is only about six hours after my bedtime. It was a great time.

The next morning my body woke me up at 8 a.m.. Stupid internal alarm clock. We had plans to take the birthday boy out for lunch. Partly to celebrate his big round number birthday (which will remain unnamed) but partly because the party had also been a going away party. He's moving south. I figured that this would be the last time I'd see him for quite a while so I wanted to squeeze as much time as I could out of the weekend. Lunch was filled with great conversation. When we walked out to the parking lot I was sad again. I gave him a long hug and a Take Care but there was so much more I would have like to say. While I know we'll keep in touch via emails and phone calls, it will be a while before we get to spend time in person. And I'll miss him.

My sadness was short lived though as we headed up to watch the Huskers destroy Minnesota. I'm not really a Huskers fan but we were actually surrounded by them as we watched the game. It's odd to be in a house in Minnesota rooting for them to be crushed. But root we did. And crush they did. We had a wonderful dinner with friends, talked about sports and babies and knitting, then we headed back to our friends house to watch the Cardinals game and talk. We talked about some tough subjects but they were amazing. Jeff and I slept in the kids rooms that night, so I can now say I've slept on Dora the Explorer sheets.

They woke us for breakfast of homemade french toast and the chance to go see a trapeze school do some flying. On Friday at the party we had met one of their friends who trapezes as a hobby. He invited us out. Jeff and I had planned to leave on Saturday but watching trapeze outdoors was too much to pass up. We stayed. But our times were off. We arrived after they had taken down the net for the season. No trapeze for us. Instead we gave hugs and headed home. It took us two extra hours. The poor kitty had licked her food bowl clean by the time we had gotten home. We had only expected to be gone 24 hours. I hadn't been home in almost 72. And it was a weekend filled with highs and lows. It went from one extreme to the other. And sometimes that's okay. I know that this will work out. It's just odd right now.

Mood Shifts

I wrote a post this morning and promptly left it at work. I was going to try to recreate the mood of the piece but I'm in such a different place than I was this morning that instead I'm going to sum up all the various moods I've had over the course of the day. And hope that it's enough to be interesting.

My piece this morning was on the Mourning Dove hunt which started in Iowa yesterday. For the first time in 93 years, people are allowed to hunt doves and I'm actually pretty pissed about it. I had a ton of great points about why I'm angry but that is saved on a different computer and to be honest after the afternoon and evening I've had I'm so far from angry that it would be hard to get back into the right mental framework. I'm also a bit drunk so if this makes less than perfect sense I apologize.

My work day was actually pretty fantastic. My coworker brought me the Wicked soundtrack to preview. I had mentioned that I want to see the musical (I'm one of the four people on Earth who LOVED the book) but I haven't heard any of the music. So I spent my morning listening to that and working. The afternoon was really productive. While I worked I listened to hours of Regina Spektor radio on Pandora.

After work we met my parents for dinner at this really tasty pizza place in town. Then we headed back to their house. Jeff and I had something we wanted to talk to them about that we've been putting off. It was wonderful to sit down and talk things through. They were awesome about everything. I'm so lucky to have the parents I do. Thanks Mom and Dad!

After hanging out for a bit Jeff and I headed off to the local comedy club. We grabbed drinks and talked before the show. Both openers were a lot of fun but the main comedian (Bert Kreischer) was hilarious. I was so enthralled by a story he was telling that I forgot where I was for a moment (although the Jameson and the two beers didn't hurt). I laughed for two hours straight. It was fantastic. As we left the club at midnight, the wind was picking up. A thunderstorm was brewing. We found a nice quiet spot to sit and watch the rain and the storm and talked. A perfect end to a perfect day.

I'm sure I'll grab that post some time this weekend and post it. But it won't be tonight. Comedy clubs and anger don't go together. I'm too tired and happy to work up a good lather. So this evening I'll go to bed with a smile on my face, remembering that this morning my mood was completely different. I'm happier with this.

Poetry Friday

I found today's poem in one of the oddest places. At my little sister's recommendation I was reading "Kiss Me Like a Stranger", Gene Wilder's autobiography. I loved the book, loved learning about this brilliant writer and actor. And when Wilder meets his current wife he mentions a poem she had tacked up at her home. I instantly loved the poem and had to write it down. I have a copy of this up in my studio. If I was ever looking for an inspiring poem, this is it.

After a While
By Veronica Shoffstall

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Poetry Friday

It's a beautiful day. The kind of beautiful summer day that makes you feel happy just to be alive. Everything feels infinite on a day like today and I'm caught up in the sheer joy of good weather. So of course I had to offer a Carpe Diem poem.

Barter
By Sara Teasdale

Life has loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And childrens's faces looking up
Holding wonder in a cup.

Life has loveliness to sell,
Music like a curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And for your spirit's still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.

Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstacy
Give all you have been, or could be.

Toxicity

I try hard to be a relatively nice person. After years of being tormented in grade school and middle school, I'm pretty well aware of what is hurtful. I try never to cause any person or animal suffering. I may joke occasionally with someone in a teasing manner but I try to make sure I don't hurt any feelings or if I do I apologize quickly.

That said, I have a countdown going for the number of hours that I have to deal with a coworker of mine. She's retiring today and I'm literally counting down the hours. I feel crappy about saying that but it's true. I've met a few negative people in my life but this woman takes the cake. She's what most psychologists would consider a toxic person. And to be honest, the negativity coming from her office has been starting to affect me.

When I first started at the office, four years ago, I was a bit worried to hear deep heavy sighs coming from the office across from me. The first time or so I walked over to see if everything was okay. And after listening to 45 minutes of everything that was wrong in her life, I backed away and didn't come back. Now I realized that she sighs all the time, hundreds of times a day. I don't even hear it anymore. I've heard this woman swear at customer service personnel in some of the nastiest ways. I've heard her complain to coworkers over and over about how nothing is going right in her life. I've even had her approach me a couple of times to ask how I'm doing just so she can rant about how terrible everything is for her. And even when things are going fine she can always find something to complain about.

And it really is starting to affect me. I try not to let anyone else dictate my mood but it's been hard to listen to her verbally put people down over and over without finding myself smirk a little at her misfortunes. If she was even a bit sweeter I would try to befriend her. I assume that she's lonely but I've heard nothing but nastiness come out of her mouth. Everyone hates to come to ask her for anything. So I roll my eyes when she starts yelling at yet another person. I smirk a bit when she complains to a neighbor about her financial/health/relationship/work...woes. And I hope that when she's finally gone, I can stop being so mean. I feel bad about disliking her. I've even gone as far as calling her a troll. But I think her toxicity is wearing off on me. Luckily I only have about four more hours to go with her. I think I'll breath a sigh of relief when she's gone. Heck I may even give a deep satisfied sigh.

Bad Work Day Blues

Warning: Today is a downer of a post. I'll understand if you want to skip my pathetic whining. I would.

I should have stayed home this morning. I woke up exhausted which is never a good thing. I took forever to get dressed because I couldn't seem to concentrate long enough to make any decisions, or even figure out what I was doing. I thought about calling in sick for the day (something I rarely do) but couldn't think of a reason. I can't bring myself to not go to work because of a bad brain day.

But now that I'm here I'm wondering if I made the right choice. I can't seem to concentrate on any of the multiple projects. Nothing has a strict deadline so I'm not feeling the rush of adrenaline. Even the caffeine isn't helping. It's pretty clear that I don't want to be here and am slacking off because of it. This has been one of my least productive days in quite a while.

It certainly doesn't help that things have changed so much around here. About a month ago my boss got fired (for something he didn't do) and with that went my reason for being here. I took the job because of my boss. He mentioned that I should apply for it. I thought it would be interesting to work with him. I left a job I loved (the skipping to work, can't wait to get there, kind of love) and instantly regretted it. The money was better but the job wasn't. It was a step away from what I really wanted to be doing. But I stayed. I didn't want to leave too quickly. After two years I started looking at new jobs and didn't get them. I started job hunting big time. So far with no luck. It's been four years now and I'm starting to feel trapped here. Add onto that the fact that my reason for taking the job is gone and you can see my level of motivation.

I'll still do a good job. I always have. But I haven't been giving 110 percent in a while and that bothers me. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I've been ingrained with a work ethic and to let that slide a bit, makes me sad. I'm still applying. Still looking. And still working. But today is just a little harder than other days. Today I really have to rev myself up just to stay in place. Today is just a really bad work day.

In Like a Lamb

There is an old adage about the month of March that says: March comes in like a lion, and out like a lamb. For most of the years of my life this has been true. March is the unpredictable month. It could rain or snow or be sunny, sometimes all in one day. March traditionally starts with some heavy snow and by the end of the month we are feeling the first little hints of spring.

This year is a bit different. March is entering like a lamb. The city of Des Moines has been blessed with some of the nicest weather we've seen since in months. The days are reaching temperatures of 32 and above. There is even a hint (can I dare to hope?) of temperatures in the 40s over the weekend. The snow is starting to melt and for the first time since December we are starting to see some grass.

I woke up this morning to bird songs, something that I hadn't heard since November. And it seems like everyone is getting into the spirit. Moods have definitely lifted. People are out and about, even taking their coats off. I saw a woman this past weekend in short sleeves and flip flops. While I don't think we've gotten quite that warm yet, it is feeling like a heat wave. After almost 4 months of below freezing temperatures, you'll have to excuse us if we party a little bit to see 35 degree days. I'm sure the winter will try one or two last tricks before ending this month. But I'm happy to say that it's power to depress is over. We are starting to feel the spring, and after this winter, it is the most delightful sensation on earth.

Missed Connections

The last three days have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster at work so I haven't really felt like posting. In the last 72 hours everything in my office has changed. I still have a job and I'm still doing the same work but everything around me has shifted. People are gone, job titles have changed, and the office won't ever really be the same for me. But then again as they say, the only thing that stays the same...is change.

So I need to focus on the things that make me happy today. There is a blog I've been meaning to share with you for a long time now and never really found the moment. I've been reading this blog on and off for almost a year now and am completely in love with it. The author, Sophie Blackall, only posts once or twice a month but those posts are worth it.

There are a number of Missed Connections message boards across the country where people can write in little messages, love letters, or anonymous thank yous for the rest of the city to read. Most of them are simple statements about how people crossed paths and influenced each other. Sophie reads the New York boards and finds messages that intrigue her. Then she paints a picture of that message.

Not only do I enjoy her painting style, I love the whole idea behind this blog. The messages on the board are fleeting. They only appear for a period of time and although we'll never know who wrote them or who they are directed to, they are moments that obviously made an impact on the writer. I love the concept that each day we constantly bump into people and they have some sort of influence on our lives. The barista who puts a chocolate covered espresso bean on my morning coffee makes my day. The woman who smiles at me on my walk to work makes me smile. The stranger who opens the door for me and tells me about their time on crutches, gives me hope. If only we could capture those moments. Suddenly a simple comment about a hat becomes poetry. Sophie takes the words of strangers and makes them into art.

As I mentioned before Sophie posts only a couple times a month. It has to take time to find the right message and paint it. But each post reminds me that the little things we do make a huge difference and that we never know how a simple gesture will affect others. I love that someone took the time to write these words, to reach out. And I love that Sophie attempts to capture them and make them more permanent. Makes them more than just simple words. To check out more Missed Connections and more of Sophie's beautiful artwork, stop by the blog. Beautiful and guaranteed to make you smile.

Good Health News

This break has been one of the most difficult and frustrating things in my life. I don't even want to admit the number of times that I've thought about just staying in and not leave the house for the next couple months. I've thought about never leaving the couch unless I had to. I've been in pain, afraid, and frustrated by hauling myself around on my hands. I've nearly fallen from the crutches hundreds of times. Anyone who tells you that crutches are no big deal is lying...or selling you something.

But with all this frustrating something else has happened. I'm amazed at how easily I can be made happy. The first time I dressed myself with the boot on was a moment of joy. The first time I opened a door on my own I was texting Jeff to share my excitement. When I first learned the step to get into the house, I was practically in tears with joy. I've become easy to please.

And today was a great day. I went to the doctor and finally got my staples out. The wounds are healing well and soon I won't be needing gauze or the ace bandage. But even better news was that I can start bending my ankle. In fact I should be working nightly to bend and flex the foot to improve mobility. The first time the doctor helped me bend my foot back felt bizarre. Apparently my ankle has forgotten how to move.

And that wasn't even the best news. The big thing is that I can finally start putting weight on the foot. I'm shocked!!! Two weeks after surgery and I can start putting 10-20 pounds on the foot. That's enough to use my leg to steady myself. I'm four legged now. And I'm so thankful. It took Jeff months before he could step on his foot again (he didn't have surgery) and I'm starting to walk after just two weeks. I could have kissed my doctor when he said it. And I'm on a perpetual high today. Yesterday I hardly left the couch if I didn't have to (I've been having a lot of pain in my hands) and today I'm up and moving as often as possible. I would say that I'm easy to please but this was just way too good of information. I feel like I'm really on the road to recovery now.

Something a Little Lighter

After yesterday I feel like I need to post something a little lighter. Something that will make me incredibly happy rather than angry. Something to cleanse your palate after my diatribe yesterday. So I bring you a library.

Yes, what you see is a lending library. A village in Somerset England lost both their mobile library and their phone box in the past year. So they contacted the telecom company and asked for the box back. Not the mechanisms, just the box. And they turned it into a lending library.

The phone box houses about 100 books and they are constantly changing. Lending is done on the honor system. Patrons select books to read and bring in books they have already read. So far they claim that the system is working really well. And they get a library that's a bit of an oddity and a showcase. Along with the recycling of an old part, I think it's a brilliant idea. Now if only it didn't remind me of a Tardis every time I looked at it. :-)

Read the whole article here.

Lightening the Mood

I'm having a sad day. It is one of those days where I'm going to be sad and angry all day. I'm researching the meat industry for work and that never fails to leave me in a bit of a bad mood. Whenever people ask my why I became a vegetarian, I simply say that I work a little too close to the meat industry for comfort. So in order to lighten my day I'm going to share a couple images that make me happy.

The first is my current desktop image. This is where I'm going to be in two weeks. If that thought doesn't make me happy, I don't know what will. This is a hotel in Playa Del Carmen Mexico. I'm heading down there in 14 days (not that I'm counting) for Jeff's brother's wedding.

The next image is fitting for Halloween. My first painting for painting class was of a jack-o-lantern (because I have a book in the works about one). I used this guy as my model. The painting turned out okay but the photo here is just perfect.

The next is a picture that a friend of mine at work gave me. This is one of the Shinkansen (bullet trains in Japan) passing in front of Mt. Fuji. It has decorated my desktop several times. I love the colors.


And lastly I would be remiss if I didn't post this image. I hope that Jen and Greg, and the rest of the family will forgive me for posting it. This is the couple who will be getting married in Mexico along with the rest of my inlaws. I'll have to actually post some images of my side of the family soon. Although I'm pretty sure my mother wouldn't be happy with that.

Again thanks for letting me share these. They brighten what looks to be an otherwise difficult day.

Epicute

It's not often that I find a website that combines two of my very favorite things in the world. In this case, food and cuteness. I've been slowly gathering blogs that make me incredibly happy. This particular one is a favorite. I'm not sure how I found it. It was mentioned on one of the blogs I read but when I went back I couldn't find the reference.

Epicute is a blog created by a young woman named Sonya who searches the web to find some of the most amazingly creative and cute food items that people are making out there. There are cupcakes, candies, cakes, bento boxes, and more. She posts almost twice daily and each image is just a bit of sweetness.

If that image didn't hook you, how about this one. Yep, those little adorable bears are made out of sugar.

And I have to throw in one of Sakurako Kitsa's Bento Boxes. I had seen these before but they are way too amazing not to share.

One warning though, if you don't crave sweets after reading this blog, there is seriously something wrong with you.

Unscientific Study

There is nothing scientific about a study I'm conducting. I don't use the scientific method, track my results, or even worry about variables. I'm just trying something to see what the results are.

Two weeks ago I started a news hiatus. I went from reading six or seven different news sources a day to not looking at the news at all. I avoid my news based bookmarks, change the TV channel if the news comes on, and have even avoided watching Jon Stewart all in the name of psychology. And I've discovered a startling revelation. Okay not really startling, but a revelation.

Since I've stopped reading the news, I'm in a much better mood. Even with my not feeling great, I've been much happier. I'm much more relaxed and my anxiety has dropped off dramatically. (heck I'm sleeping without ear plugs) I'm reading a lot more, writing a lot more, and am feeling much more creative in general. I've been scanning art blogs and doing some of my own drawing. I've been starting new short stories and having ideas just randomly pop to mind. I'm in a strangely good place.

I'm not sure how much of this is news related. My odd near death (or at least what felt like near death) experience is certainly playing a part. I'm sure a lot of the creativity is due to my refocusing on writing and drawing with the feeling that time is short. My goal is to have a published work by the time Jeff is out of school. But there are other factors as well. I haven't played WoW at all during these two weeks either, the longest break I've ever taken. Jeff has been very focused on school which keeps the TV in the house off and the WoW playing to a minimum. Even his WoW playing has dropped off dramatically. Not playing gives me tons of time and I'm suddenly interested in everything.

But since this isn't scientific, I have no idea which of these is contributing to my good mood. Eventually I may try to add one in at a time and see what helps or hinders. I may eventually go back to taking time and life for granted. But for right now I'm enjoying the feeling. I'm enjoying my more relaxed feeling. And I'll ride this as long as I can. Not scientific at all, but I'd call the experiment as success.

Gooses, Geeses

Okay yesterday was all rant and darkness. Today is all goodness and light. The difference, about 20 degrees. Actual temperature degrees. The weather hit 68 today which for March, is a veritable heat wave. I decided to celebrate by grabbing a sandwich and heading out to the nearest lake to soak up the warmth and the rays. Apparently so did everyone else. The lake (Grey's Lake for those who live in Des Moines) was packed. They have added some really nice facilities there and now it has become the place to see and be seen.

Not looking for a crowd, I headed right across the street to Water Works Park. I followed the paths back deep into the park, stopped the car, and ate my lunch while sitting on the hood of the car. It was magical. Just me and the geese. Now I know what at least some of you are thinking, Canadian geese are nasty. Many people seem to think of them as pests. I think they are beautiful. The colorations on them are really pretty when you look close. And they are so much more interesting than ducks. Plus you have to admire the waddle. It's almost comical. I got out my binoculars and watched them walk gingerly across the frozen ponds. I had a small group that came pretty near to the car. They didn't beg and I didn't feed them. (there are signs up everywhere) We just sat and calmly ignored each other.

I'm terrible about getting out birding in the winter. I know there are many species that stay over the winter and that I should get out to see them. But the layers I have to wear and the cold keep me from really enjoying. So I tend to stay in during the winter. Which is why I'm so ready for spring. Today felt like spring. I walked back into the office with a deep feeling of calm that I haven't had in a long time. I felt relaxed and refreshed and ready. Thanks to a beautiful day and some geese.

Find a Happy Place, Find a Happy Place!!!

Leave it to me to quote a cartoon to talk about a book on happiness. (Peach in Finding Nemo) I just finished reading The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner and I found myself intrigued. Most people will tell you that happiness is a state of mind. Weiner sets out to see if that state of mind has something to do with the state you're in. Or more particularly the country.

The book follows Weiner on a year's journey to discover the happiest places in the world. He visits places from Iceland, Qatar, Bhutan, Thailand, Great Britain, Switzerland, and Moldova (one of the least happiest countries on earth). In each country he settles in and starts trying to figure out why the people there are so happy. What secrets they know that the rest of us don't.

He starts with the data gathered by the World Database on Happiness in Amsterdam. I had been aware of the Database for a while from when I was doing research on childlessness. The project attempts to quantify happiness and break it down by its components. Some are common sense, others are not. People in close communities tend to be happier, religous people tend to be happier, childless people tend to be happier, and for some odd reason middle earners tend to be happier. The database also looks at location, what countries report the highest levels of happiness.

So Weiner goes to visit those countries (and some others) to see what makes them tick. Each country is very different and some of the reasons for happiness are very different. As he says Switzerland is very rigid and repressed but happy. Thailand is very laid-back and easy going and happy. Iceland is very cold and dark but happy. But some of the similarities shine through. All have good social structures (family and community is important). All have appreciation for the land surrounding them. All work to eliminate envy and discord in their society.

Iceland was, for me, the most interesting chapter. Now I'm not a fan of winter or cold but by the end of that chapter I would have willingly moved to Iceland. I would have been more than happy to live in darkness half the year for a taste of the social structure they have. Weiner discusses the creative energy of Iceland (everyone is a writer or poet, everyone!). He says how the Icelandic people have a different view of failure, celebrating failed attempts and constantly reinventing themselves. He talks about how with the small population everyone is very close knit. They have to be in order to survive.

I often imagine that geography and happiness go together. I've never felt exactly at home in my American skin. Something about the culture just doesn't move at the same speed I do. I used to think that I was just born at the wrong time, but now I wonder if it wasn't the wrong place. I always imagined I was British and I have to admit that the chapter on Great Britain made me think that I could live there as well. I'm happy here in Iowa (since the pace of life tends to be slower), but there is just the occasional thought that something is not right. That somehow I'm not in step with my society. Perhaps we all have to go find our happy place.

Biophilia

I'm reading The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. In the book Weiner, an NPR journalist, travels around the world looking for the happiest places. One of the places he starts his journey at is in Switzerland. He is trying to figure out why the Swiss are so happy when he stumbles upon a word that sums up beautifully one of the things that makes me the happiest: biophilia. 

Have you ever gone walking in the woods? It doesn't matter what mood you have when you enter the woods. If you allow yourself to just be part of the woods you will walk out happier. There is a strange sense of peace we get when you are surrounded by nature. I never realized that there was a word for this feeling. The official definition is "the connections that human beings subconsciously seek with the rest of life". Biophilia was coined by Edward O. Wilson in 1984. Perhaps this could explain why deeply urban dwellers seem to be less happy. There is simply less contact with the natural world. 

This is something I had noticed on my own many times. We took a cruise in October which was wonderful. But I noticed that I was starting to get irritable by the third day. We had been off the boat but Key West was mostly city, and Cozumel was mostly rushed. By Belize, Jeff and I were both frustrated and snapping. Then this little fellow came into my life. 

We were up walking on the deck when we found him. He appeared young and injured and I watched him for over three hours unsure of what to do to help. Mostly I wanted to protect him from people coming over and disturbing him. My hope is that with rest he would be strong again. I sketched him from afar and watched him. And my soul was soothed. The crew captured him (at the request of some other cruisers) and hopefully helped him off the boat to a rehabilitation clinic. That is my only hope. I cried as he was taken away assuming they would kill him. Now I don't know. I have no idea what species he is. If anyone knows, please leave a comment with it. All I know is that spending some time watching and protecting him, made me feel like myself again. I had missed that contact with nature. 

Snow!!!

As always the first snowfall of the year makes me happy. There is just something magical about the first one which seems to bring people outside to play in the beautiful white flakes. Yesterday was our first snow and I watched a young girl riding her scooter through the flakes, mouth open to catch them on her tongue. Then I took the camera out to try to record some of this magic. Of course there is no way to pin down magic but it's fun to try. 

Now don't get me wrong, by the seventh snow I'll be complaining and by the 30th I'll be done with winter. But for this moment I was happy. For this moment I was more than ready for winter. Here are a couple of the shots I took. I've noticed that falling snow doesn't photograph well but it does video well. I love the mixing of snow with leaves. I'm particularly proud of the red one. And the pumpkin reminds me that autumn moves into winter. My neighbor still had hers out and it was collecting snow fast.