Accidents

I'm writing this post through tears. I have a box of tissues right at my side and I'm using them. Not because I'm sad but because I managed to cut my eye this afternoon and it won't stop hurting or tearing up. I was opening a ziploc bag this afternoon with one hand. So I clutched the other end in my teeth. At least until it slipped and cut straight across my eyeball. I said some very choice words and instantly pull my hand over my eye. When I could see through the tears I realized that I still had my sight so no need to go to the ER. But the recovery is a tad frustrating. Every time I move my eyeball it hurts. Every time I blink it hurts. And every time it tears up, my nose starts to run.

That got me thinking about accidents and injuries. I've spent most of my life worrying about accident. Things that could go wrong to get me injured. I stress about car accidents, plane crashes, and falls. I've worried about every type of injury possible it seems like. But I've realized that the things that do go wrong, most often aren't things that you think about. I could never have predicted I'd cut my eye on a bag. I never would have guessed most of the injuries that have happened to me in life. Accidents are just that. Things that go wrong that you wouldn't even begin to prepare for. And that makes me wonder why I worry. Unless it's about ziploc bags, my new enemy.

My Side of the Sofa

I'm writing to you from the couch my parents bought Jeff and I when we moved into our house. It is a beautiful cream-colored micro-fiber couch that has to be one of the softest things I've ever sat on. I've slept on this couch, I've watched TV on this couch, I've eaten on this couch, and for the last nine weeks I've pretty much lived on this couch (you can see me on the couch in my profile picture).

From that night in early January when I came home from the emergency room, I have been mostly living in one spot on the couch. I sit on the right side of the couch so I can prop my injured left ankle up on the ottoman and still get up comfortably when I need to. The first week and a half I slept in this spot. During that first week I only left the couch to go to the bathroom. Jeff brought me clothes and food and entertainment. Nowadays I'm much more mobile and spend plenty of time in the rest of the house. But when I come home from work after a long day (I'm back to nine hour days full time) the first place I'm going to head is my side of the sofa.

This has worked okay except for the poor other side of the sofa. Jeff sits on the loveseat and works from there. It's nice that he's so close and it was just easier for talking or watching TV (which I've done way too much of lately). So the other half of the couch has been taken over with my things. From where I am sitting right now I can see: two blankets, a knitting project I'm working on, my coat, my bookbag, treats for the cat, toys for the cat, my towel that I use for my ankle exercises, the camera, some nail polish, multiple pens, a water bottle, and well over a dozen books. It's hard for me to carry things back into their place and I hate to ask Jeff since he already does so much running around at my request. Plus you never know when I'll need things again. So they pile up until I can't stand it anymore. Then I clean the whole couch up and start the process over.

My only hope is that all the stuff on the other side will balance out the fact that my fat butt has been sitting on one cushion for nine weeks now. It's starting to get flatter than the others. I should move. I should change things up after nine weeks. But I'm comfortable here. And the cushions are starting to mold to my shape. I'm claiming this side as mine always. Jeff can keep the loveseat. :-)

Good Health News

This break has been one of the most difficult and frustrating things in my life. I don't even want to admit the number of times that I've thought about just staying in and not leave the house for the next couple months. I've thought about never leaving the couch unless I had to. I've been in pain, afraid, and frustrated by hauling myself around on my hands. I've nearly fallen from the crutches hundreds of times. Anyone who tells you that crutches are no big deal is lying...or selling you something.

But with all this frustrating something else has happened. I'm amazed at how easily I can be made happy. The first time I dressed myself with the boot on was a moment of joy. The first time I opened a door on my own I was texting Jeff to share my excitement. When I first learned the step to get into the house, I was practically in tears with joy. I've become easy to please.

And today was a great day. I went to the doctor and finally got my staples out. The wounds are healing well and soon I won't be needing gauze or the ace bandage. But even better news was that I can start bending my ankle. In fact I should be working nightly to bend and flex the foot to improve mobility. The first time the doctor helped me bend my foot back felt bizarre. Apparently my ankle has forgotten how to move.

And that wasn't even the best news. The big thing is that I can finally start putting weight on the foot. I'm shocked!!! Two weeks after surgery and I can start putting 10-20 pounds on the foot. That's enough to use my leg to steady myself. I'm four legged now. And I'm so thankful. It took Jeff months before he could step on his foot again (he didn't have surgery) and I'm starting to walk after just two weeks. I could have kissed my doctor when he said it. And I'm on a perpetual high today. Yesterday I hardly left the couch if I didn't have to (I've been having a lot of pain in my hands) and today I'm up and moving as often as possible. I would say that I'm easy to please but this was just way too good of information. I feel like I'm really on the road to recovery now.

I Have Clearance

It's not everyday that I say words like this but...Yay, I get to go back to work!!! After a long week of being cramped up at home, I'm finally heading back to work tomorrow. I saw the doctor this morning and he cleared me. Actually what he wrote was "return to work as tolerated". Which may well be the greatest words ever written. What this means is that, not only do I get to go out into the world again, but I get to set the schedule for it as well.

I can tell you right now that there is no way that I would be able to work 9 hour days in the condition that I am in. I simply could not sit with my leg down for that long a period of time. Plus I've gotten used to mid-afternoon naps (if that sounds like bragging, it is :-) ) and the occasional pain pill. I've also gotten used to having my own schedule. This work release, along with the wonderfulness of my boss, is allowing me to go back to work for 5 hour days to see how it goes. The rest of my hours will be made up with sick leave. I'm incredibly excited about this.

You would think that getting to stay home for almost a week and a half without any pressures would be wonderful. You would think that getting to read, sleep, eat, and watch TV whenever you want would be nice. But it gets old. Quick. And more than anything it is a tad isolating. I've had a number of people stop by to check on me. I've run my phone battery out a couple of times with long conversations with friends. I've had my brief forays to the doctor's office. But other than that, my only contacts have been Jeff and friends through Facebook. I love Jeff and this week he has proved to me that I truly married the right man. But there is only so much together time we can take. As for Facebook, I've had a ton of wonderful well-wishes from friends. I was touched by how many people were worried about me. But typing on a website is just the not the same as face to face conversation. And even that, after a while has left me feeling restless. An entire week straight with little interruption and no where to go has made me a bit antsy.

So as odd as it sounds, I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow. I'm excited about having some work challenges rather than just getting around challenges. The crutches are providing their own issues but I'm ready to be with people again. I'm ready to be social. But more than anything else, I'm ready for a little normalcy.

Should Have

I should be posting more. I have a ton of time. I have really nothing to do but lie here on the couch with my feet up, spend time on Facebook, and watch TV. And that's exactly what I've been doing. I haven't been terribly ambitious for anything that requires too much thought. I've watched a ton of movies, some that I want to talk about, others that I've seen over and over. Jeff and I are doing a very slow Lord of the Rings marathon this weekend. We watched Fellowship Friday night, Two Towers last night, and will finish with Return of the King tonight. As a friend of mine on Facebook said, "if those movies can't heal broken bones, nothing will".

But I should be taking this time to blog, to write, to paint, and even to read. Instead I watch hours of old NCIS episodes, Family Guy, football, and an endless number of commercials. I read countless comics, find new photo sites, and spend literally hours checking in with friends. I traditionally only spend an hour or two a week on Facebook. This week I've probably spent 12 hours on it. I have spent a good chunk of time on the phone and I've had a number of friends and family who have stopped in to see me. The time is actually passing quickly but none of it is really productive. I haven't even had my journal out once. I should have posted every day. But being laid up has left me without an sort of ambition. Even climbing the stairs, something that I've gotten better at, made me feel tired.

My hope is to be better this week. I'm hopefully going back to work on Tuesday but even then I'll probably only be able to do half days to begin with. I get tired easily and still have some trouble concentrating. I'm not taking the pain pills as frequently which is helpful. I guess all of this is to make excuses for the fact that this has been one of the more exciting weeks of my life and I've hardly written anything about it. And it's my hope that getting this little bit of fluff post out there will spur me on to do some more writing. I have to remember that this boot will probably be my constant companion for many many weeks. It's time to settle into a normal life, just with a couple new accessories.