Monday, March 8, 2010

Using my crutches as...well...a crutch

I just got back from the doctor about a half an hour ago or so. I was pretty excited about this visit. I assumed I would either be getting rid of the boot or the crutches today. And that's somewhat true but there's a bit of a snag, Me.

Things seem to be healing well. The bones are starting to knit although there is still a pretty big gap on one side of my ankle. Everything is aligned and the doctor sounds very optimistic. I've been able to put up to half my weight on my ankle up until now. He told me today that as long as I don't have any new pain, I can start weaning myself off the crutches. You would think that this would be the greatest news I've heard in a while. For a moment I was really excited. Then the fear set in. I'm terrified to get rid of them. I'm just not ready to go without them.

I know I've been complaining for weeks about the crutches. I've stumbled over them, I've cursed them, I've found them a nuisance. But now that I can set them aside, I'm clinging to them like a life jacket. They've become my safety. I'm using them as a crutch, quite literally. I assume that this is just first day jitters. By tomorrow I'll be looking for ways to get rid of them. But for today the idea is not only not appealing, it's terrifying.

On other recovery news I start physical therapy tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about that but I'm hoping that it will help with the stiffness and help me recover faster. So in total I'm doing well. I just need to get over my fears. I've been dealing with new ways of walking for weeks now. I have to remind myself that this is just another step (pun intended :-) ).


Keith said...

You'll be line-dancing before you know it.

Cat B said...

I hope so but I'm starting with more realistic goals. Climbing stairs, carrying things. Then we'll move on to the dancing. :-)