Thursday, December 4, 2008

Toesicles

Warning: This may very well be too much information. But it's what I'm thinking about today so...

I hate winter! I hate the snow and the cold and more than anything I hate that my toes go numb. Even with wool socks my toes go numb. And then they go white. And then they hurt. Which makes me anxious, and that makes them go even whiter. Not a fun situation. I have what doctors call Raynaud's syndrome. It's a fancy way of saying that when I get cold my fingers and toes stop circulating blood. I was thinking about this last night as I was sitting on the couch watching Dead Like Me (fantastic show, by the way). I had on my wool socks, with my feet under Jeff, while we sat under a blanket. And they were radiating cold.
The first time I had an attack I thought my little toe had fallen off. It actually feels like my frozen toes have fallen off and are rolling around in my socks. A little disconcerting to say the least. I took off my socks to find my toes ghost white. My feet were fine but the toes were radiating cold. No blood. That first time I sat with them over the radiators trying to rub feeling back into them. Now I just walk upstairs and run increasingly warmer water over them until I can feel the floor again.
The way the syndrome works is that when a normally body gets very cold it starts to limit the blood flow to the extremities (hands and feet). In normal people it takes extreme cold for this. It also takes prolonged exposure. For me, it takes a five minute drive to the grocery store on a 25 degree day. Plus most bodies just limit blood flow, mine shuts it off completely. One evening after coming back from a hockey game, I found that my toes and toenails were blue. So now I take foot warmers whenever I'm out in the cold for a long time.
All of this makes me wonder why I'm in the midwest. I know that some of this is anxiety driven but a majority of it is cold weather induced. About this time of year I start looking at houses down in Florida and dreaming of 50 degree winters. I gaze longingly at job applications in the sun belt and wonder about housing prices in Vegas. All winter long I'm like this. And then the spring comes, and the world blooms, and it is just too beautiful to leave. One of these years I'll head south, but for right now Jeff and I will have to deal with my toesicles.

2 comments:

Skem said...

That part about the little toe rattling around rings true to me too. If my toes get too chilly it does feel like one has detached from the foot and is frolicking in my sock.

Cat B said...

I wonder if it is genetic. No one else seems to know what I'm talking about.

"Frolicking in my sock" Great line! Nice imagery.