Going Without

The internet at home has been....unreliable is the word I'll use. I've used others before but few of them are appropriate here. We got a couple days of good reliable service and then it will conk out for a half a day. Originally we thought it was the construction going on in front of the house but I guess it is the modem. Jeff finally fixed it yesterday and did the set-up. But we were down until about 10:30 last night.

I am surprised about how much this upsets me. I can live without TV and shockingly I can live without movies. But you take my internet away and lately I'm at a complete loss. So last night I met my parents for dinner (thanks Mom and Dad), went to the book store and bought Ish by Peter Reynolds, and then went home to take a bath and read. I scanned my shelves and grabbed a book to read but it wasn't until I was already in the bathtub that I reconsidered my choice of books. Night by Elie Wiesel is not a story to relax to. But it is an excellent book to shut me up when I start to whine.

I'd never read Elie Wiesel's memoir of his time spent at Auschwitz and Buchenwald. Even though the book has been lauded as a classic and that it is assigned in most high schools I had somehow never read it. It's not a long book. I finished it over a three hour period of time, but it is an immensely powerful story. The struggle and the horror that he (and others) went through are beyond my comprehension. I was sickened by the treatment in the camps and by the terrible deaths that awaited so many. It was very much the stuff of nightmares. I was shocked by the terrible struggle to survive that happened every day and by the brutality that humans (both captors and captives) were capable of. And I was shamed by my own lack of perspective.

I've been a little spoiled throughout my life in that I've never really had to struggle terribly for anything. My parents were generous (sometimes to a fault) and I've never had to worry about where my next meal was coming from. I've lived in comfortable houses with plenty of access to clothing and food and bathing. I've never had to fight anyone for anything. So as I lay in my hot bath last night, thinking about how terrible it was that my internet was down, I was reminded in brutal terms how good I have it. This book is a classic. And more than anything a reminder. Last night I was reminded that no matter what happens, with work, with life, with friends and family, I've still been blessed.