Reason to Write

Two things came together for me today to get me thinking about why I write this blog. It is similar to keeping a journal but as I told my sister at lunch today, it is an incomplete journal at best. I keep two journals. One is this blog, which has some of the things I find interesting told in little essay form. I try to keep it light and slightly informative. Then I also keep a personal journal on paper. This one gets all the things that I'm not really ready to tell the world.

I've been having a discussion with a friend about blogging and I mentioned today that I write because I'm terribly shy and a terrible speaker. When I get excited or nervous I tend to stutter and trip on my words. I can't always get a coherent thought out. So writing has always offered me the chance to revise before sending my words out. Ever said something aloud and then wished you could take it back. With this I can. For good or for bad.

The other thing that got me thinking was a book I bought at lunch today. My little sis and I went to Lucca, my favorite lunch place. And then we stopped in a stationary store afterwards and I found a book. Stationary stores are bad for me. (no self-control. Think hardware stores for some men) This book is the 1000 journals project. www.1000journals.com A thousand journals are sent out into the world. The receivers write, doodle, paste things in them and when they are full, send them back to the person who sent it/dropped it.

And all I could think was, what a fantastic idea. And then I started thinking about what I would put into mine. And would I be brave enough to send it back? My current journal is a mixture of emotions, silly doodles, poems, drawing attempts (too bad to show), and creative writing starts. And none of that is shared. Not even with Jeff sometimes. And I have to wonder why.

How much do we censor as we go through day to day life? I censor my words before I speak them. I censor my writing before I post it. I even sometimes censor my own thoughts.

So I'm going to start keeping a journal. And I will try to make it as public as possible. This is a scary thing for me. I've never been good at sharing myself. My few attempts at submitting poems for publishing have been nerve-wracking experiences. We'll see how it goes.

Now this has a downside for you my few faithful readers. You may be seeing more of me than you want. Terrible drawings, horrible poems, and even some basic journaling. And for all of that, I'm sorry.